F1 2021 - Monaco Grand Prix

 This is going to have to be in two parts.

Because the non-Ferrari part is reasonably coherent, it's the Ferrari part that descends into wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Well, half the Ferrari part.

Let's begin with the non-Ferrari part.

Whatever my personal feelings, the season needed a Verstappen win more than it needed a Ferrari win.  This, and the possibility of a similar result in Baku, are the only things that give me any hope that this season will be different from the last few years where Mercedes romped away to an early victory in both championships.

I am amused by the amount of excuses the commentators were making for Hamilton not getting past Gasly.  It was ridiculous.  They made it sound like Gasly, who has won a Grand Prix in an Alpha Tauri, doesn't know what he's doing and just got lucky to keep Hamilton behind him, which isn't true.  It also completely ignores that Vettel went from 8th to 5th and Perez went from 9th to 4th, both of them getting past Hamilton and Gasly.  Please can we give Perez some of the respect he deserves for that drive!  (Singling out Perez because Vettel was awarded Driver of the Day)

Bottas's run of bad luck has reached the stage where you wonder if a curse is involved.  Because really, a shredded thread on a wheelnut in a multimillion dollar car.  How does that happen?!

Discussing cursing, the updated Ferrari diagram is below.

I know, that's a large number of changes.

Let's take them in descending order of happiness.

The smiley face is for Carlos Sainz jnr*, and Carlos Sainz jnr (and his side of the garage) only.  Well done.  You did what you were supposed to do and made no mistakes all weekend.

The cookie is for Leclerc.  Who might actually be cursed at his home Grand Prix.  Apparently he's never managed to finish a race at Monaco.  This time he didn't even start the race.

The red card is for Leclerc.  It's Monaco.  You grew up here.  You know that the track limits are ... severe.  You know better than this.

The black card concept is pinched from fencing, it means complete exclusion from a competition.  It is for whichever dimwit at Ferrari passed that car as roadworthy on Saturday evening.  Even a 10 place grid drop would have been better than that nonsense.  I know Binotto is saying it might be an unrelated problem, but I also recognise a face-saving excuse when I hear one.  Learn from this.  Don't do it again.

*He is jnr.  His father is a world champion.  It matters.

Black Widow

Despite how the rest of this post sounds, I will be watching the Black Widow movie in the cinema.  Because you know, explosions and Natasha Romanov (and Rachel Weisz).

The trailers however do not match up to the film I imagined when I heard the words "will also star Rachel Weisz".  Because the film in my dreams (let's be honest *of* my dreams) when I hear that is very different.  It has Rachel Weisz as one of the people who trains a teenage (almost Red Room graduate) Natasha, and she is nasty and horrible and beautiful, charming and alluring all at once.  She's the prototypical Black Widow.

She's also Natasha's handler/co-agent for her first real mission (basically, I want comparisons drawn to Hawkeye in absentia).  Somehow, Weisz's character saves Natasha's life and then goes rogue.  (Or saves her life from an enemy, stabs her to incapacitate her and then goes rogue), and Natasha has to hunt her down.   I'm not sure which reason for defection would be better, for the money or to the side of good.  For the money would be a more personal betrayal, but to the side of good has the possibility of being part of Black Widow's origin story.

Or, Weisz's character never goes rogue, but goes into sleeper agent mode instead, living as an American housewife.  Then, she's reactivated after Natasha joins SHIELD, because the bad guys want to bring Natasha down.  This all happens early enough that Natasha's loyalties are still in doubt (to everyone but Fury and Hawkeye) and Natasha has to hunt her down.

There's so much potential for twisty and dark and "who am I?  Who can I be?" that they don't seem to be using.

They have two solid actresses, why don't they let them do more than (probably enjoyable) kaboomery.

F1 2021 - Spanish Grand Prix

What's that?  An actual cookie of competence?  Why yes it is.  It is given to Charles Leclerc and whoever set his car up, because that Ferrari was ahead of a Mercedes, for several laps, twice, on merit, not due to pit stop strategy working its way through.  Keep this up!

On the other hand, while the race was interesting for a while, I want to see an end of any article or broadcast trying to add intrigue by pretending Mercedes don't have the fastest car any more.  Seriously, professional broadcasters, stop it!

F1 2021 - Portuguese Grand Prix

 Ferrari's results remain mediocre, but the diagram has an update.

If I thought what Ferrari did with the split tyre strategy for their two cars was deliberate, I'd give them a full cookie, but I am unconvinced.  I have lived through too many Ferrari strategy errors to believe they did something that sensible.  Until they produce reasonable strategies repeatedly, they are getting a bitten cookie.  Do it again and I will upgrade the cookie.

(The race itself was interesting until Mercedes pressed the "go faster" button.  Not the fastest car, my etcetera.)