Showing posts with label films. Show all posts
Showing posts with label films. Show all posts

Monday, 10 March 2025

Not actually yearly round up of film locations

There's a reason L says the motto for my blog should be "I never drop projects, I just don't update them for a while". 

This one used to be yearly and then stuff happened, so I'm taking the chance to update it now. This is a list of all the locations where films I have mentioned up to August 2020 (yes, I know). 

Looking only at real locations, the US and UK lead the way. Pie chart of film locations, the US and UK take up just over 50 percent of the pie. 

It's a lot less clear cut when I include fictional locations. Pie chart of film locations, including fictional places.  Now it takes the US, UK, outer space and the righter most edge of France to make up 50 percent of the pie 
There's still an disturbing, overwhelming, more than 80% of them are set there, English slant to the films set in the UK. It does possible suggest something about film funding in the UK, and where Hollywood sets films when they're set in the UK. Pie chart.  Only England and Scotland are represented and England is the setting for 87 percent of all the films set in the UK. When I have time to learn how to do nice map plots, I think this will be my dataset.

Sunday, 29 December 2024

Top 10 Films of 2024 - Now with Explanations

My "not first released in 2024" option is Galaxy Quest, which I saw at the Electric, about two weeks before it closed. Which was a real shock! The owner was perpetually threatening to close it but hadn't ever (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clm7nnyx2d5o). It means I really need to get myself more organised to actually get back to going to the Mockingbird (https://mockingbirdcinema.com/MockingbirdCinema.dll/Home) when I get the chance. 

For films released this year, I am applying my usual 4 criteria: 
a – did the film do what it set out to do? 
b – did it use its resources to its best ability? A £250,000 film is not going to have as good explosions as a £25,000,000 film, or it shouldn’t, and if it does, there’s something wrong with the £25,000,000 film. Basically, it's a technical merit score. 
c – Intellectual satisfaction – does the film’s plot pull some really stupid move at the last moment? Does the plot rely on characters being more stupid than they are? 
d – Does this work as a whole? Did it work for me? I am aware that this is the most subjective of subjective criteria! 

I saw 13 films this year, 12 in the cinema and one on a plane, because the cinema-to-plane turnaround time is ridiculous nowadays. The bottom 3, which didn't make the top 10, can all be missed quite happily. Of the 10 here, I can find something to recommend in everything down to 9, while I'd say the top 4 are actively good and Kalki 2898 AD is intriguing but that might be my lack of knowledge. 

1 - Monkey Man - If we could give Dev Patel all the money he wants to make any film he wants, I would be so grateful. This was marvellous. Fills my need for arthouse violence exactly. 

2 - Kneecap - I am going to caveat this one. How do you feel about about swearing, drink and drugs? If any of the above are not your thing, please skip. The politics is also ... intriguing (let's be honest, they go with 'Band banned by the UK gov' for a reason). (The politics is a whole section of the full review, a long section.) 

On the other hand, other than 'oh heck, Fassbender is old enough to be playing parents', this was good. Openly, 'our story as told by a drunk', in the best sense, and DJ Provai can act (the other two, not so much but not worse than many pro-actors). 

3 - The Beekeeper - Kurt Wimmer is a member of the Garth Marenghi school of writing, where subtext is for cowards. His style really works for me. The Beekeeper is a very straightforward story of good guys, bad guys, necessary bad guys and a lot of violence. They fill this out by casting a bunch of British actors in random roles (and have Josh Hutcherson being the sleaziest sleaze ever). 

Catnip for me. 

4 - The Count of Monte Cristo - It needed to be a mini-series. But I enjoyed what there was. Pierre Niney was excellent, I did not expect to fall for Andrea Calcavetti quite that hard and loved how they did Dantes acting as the Count. 

5 - Kalki 2898 AD - The full story of how I ended up watching this will wait until the write up. Safe to say it was longer than expected, and could have done with some judicious cutting. On the other hand it felt very fresh, although how much of that is me not knowing the Mahabharata, I do not know. (It is a gap I am planning on fixing eventually) 

I do find it interesting that 4 out of my top 5 are not English as their main language. Monkey Man and Kneecap (and the Count, to an extent) are also good at the way people who use more than language use their languages and flow between them. 

6 - Furiosa - It wasn't as good as Fury Road (but that's a very high bar), and it did make Furiosa far too nice and cut-out how she was supporting Immortan Joe. But the images were still awesome and it does interesting things with revenge. 

7 - Dune 2 - I am the problem with this. I acknowledge this. But there are three scenes I demand in any adaptation of this part of the book, and it whiffs all of them. I grant there's reasons for one of them - can I recommend SelenaK's review here - https://selenak.dreamwidth.org/1573791.html? - but I still want those scenes. 

8 - Argylle - It has problems. For spoilery reasons, Bryce Dallas Howard is mildly miscast, but she's not miscast for the more important part. I would have re-edited several of the scenes that ran too long. But it's pleasingly silly, and does some fun things. 

9 - The Fall Guy - This is probably better than Argylle, I just do not vibe with Ryan Gosling. The parts that are David Leitch's love letter to stunt guys, and any part that features Winston Duke, are absolute love, mind you. 

10 - Venom 3 

Everything above 10 has some redeeming feature. Films 10-13 have almost none of these. Venom 3 comes the top of them because while it is a pointless sequel (like film 11), I enjoyed it more than 11. Unlike film 12, I didn't consider that it might have been written by AI, because AI would be more evenly-toned. Unlike film 13, it didn't make me drunkenly rant at L, because it's just so wrong. 

Also, it did have Venom Horse and Mrs Chen. 

And Venom Penguin!

Sunday, 22 December 2024

Top 10 Films of 2024

 My usual end of the year list of the top 10 films. Explanations coming in a week.


1 - Monkey Man
2 - Kneecap
3 - The Beekeeper
4 - The Count of Monte Cristo
5 - Kalki 2898 AD
6 - Furiosa
7 - Dune 2
8 - Argylle
9 - The Fall Guy
10 - Venom 3

Monday, 8 January 2024

My top 10 films of 2023 - now with explanations

In 2023, I watched 12 new films in the cinema. 

I was on track for more, but then I broke my leg. A determination to watch Napoleon was on of the things that helped get me out of the house. 

The very best film I saw last year was Blue, which I saw with R as part of the Horrorshow exhibition (https://www.somersethouse.org.uk/whats-on/the-horror-show) [fuller review of the show eventually].

If we agree that art is trying to convey experience through a medium, Blue is exceptional. It's undoubtedly one of the greatest works of art I've seen in any medium. 

The chance to see things like that, so utterly better than any of this year's films (most year's films), is why I have a separate category for films not released in that year. 

I was also lucky enough to see Dr. Strangelove and Grand Budapest Hotel at the Electric Cinema (https://www.electricbirmingham.com/) 

For films released this year, I am applying my usual 4 criteria: 
a – did the film do what it set out to do? 
b – did it use its resources to its best ability? A £250,000 film is not going to have as good explosions as a £25,000,000 film, or it shouldn’t, and if it does, there’s something wrong with the £25,000,000 film. Basically, it's a technical merit score. 
c – Intellectual satisfaction – does the film’s plot pull some really stupid move at the last moment? Does the plot rely on characters being more stupid than they are? 
d – Does this work as a whole? Did it work for me? I am aware that this is the most subjective of subjective criteria! 

1 - Polite Society 

This gets both style and ridiculousness points, and extra bonus points for Eunice Huthart (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunice_Huthart) [every girl my age wanted to be Eunice Huthart when we grew up] and introducing me to Nimra Bucha. It also get a bonus for not being based on a pre-existing media property. 

2 - Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning 

If you'd told me that Mission Impossible 7 would be one of the freshest films I'd see all year I would have laughed at you. It is still a series of action set pieces barely held together with a plot and the lead villain is miscast, and everything I loved about Elsa Faust's fight choreography in Fallout (https://fulltimesportsfan.wordpress.com/2019/04/06/mission-impossible-fallout-is-solid-but-the-fight-scenes-are-exceptional/) this one got wrong. 

On the other hand, Vanessa Kirby, Rebecca Ferguson, Henry Cserny and Shea Whigham's Briggs. I am so easily pleased. 

3 - Across the Spiderverse 

It's not Across the Spiderverse's fault it's not as good as Into the Spiderverse. Unfortunately, some of it did feel like filler when they realised that they'd made one and a half films and they needed to turn it into two. I also really don't like cliffhangers. 

4 - Guardians of the Galaxy 3 

Was it "a bit much"? Yes. Does James Gunn need someone to shout "no" at him? Yes. 

On the other hand, did I go in knowing that? Yes. Did various bits of it, not least of all Teefs, break me in the way James Gunn always breaks me? Yes. 

It was horrific, in a way this sort of film often isn't, but probably should be. It also had the best explanation of why I skew Marvel rather than DC - "everyone deserves a second chance." 

5 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 

Could I have done without the romance? Yes. Other than that, it was pleasing Turtle-y nonsense. 

6 - Antman and the Wasp: Quantumania 

To return to the cake metaphor I first used for the first of the Fantastic 4 films, bad superhero films are like bad cake. Yeah, it's bad, but it's still cake. 

And this was only mediocre cake, not actively bad cake. I didn't like what they did with MODOK, and it was too obviously setting up Wave 4 rather than being its own film (see also my problems with Stephen Strange 1 and 2) and there wasn't enough of team minor criminal, but it was bland not bad. 

7 - Indiana Jones 5 

I know what they were trying to do, it just didn't work for me. Sallah steals the film entirely. 

8 - Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Amongst Thieves 

I am the problem with this one. 

My first exposure to D&D was Neverwinter Nights so I totally squeaked when they moved around Neverwinter, and when I play that I almost always play a lady barbarian so Holga, entirely my speed, ditto Doric. 

On the other hand, it was just too ironical for my tastes. I find irony fine seasoning but a poor main course. 

9 - John Wick 4 

The problems with John Wick 4 were accidentally caused by John Wick 3. That was a series of excellent set pieces barely held together by some excellent acting. In this one, the thread holding the action set pieces didn't work, because John spent 3 desperately trying to find the Elder, only for spoiler to happen at the start of this. 

Okay, given spoiler, ragnarok is coming for the High Table. I could get behind that. 

Only then they don't do that either. The plot made no sense!!! 

10 - Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan/Three Musketeers: Milady 

If this ranking was just based on the acting, the set design and the lighting, these films would be in second. 

The directing would have moved them down anyway (directors, we have steady cam, use it). 

And then we hit the screenplay. May the good Lord grant me the self-confidence of someone who adapts one of the most popular books in the world, one which has been consistently popular since its release, and then changes every single bit of the plot. By the end of the second film, it wasn't even suggested by Dumas anymore. 

Also, given they changed everything, one of the revelations in part 2 means someone's actions in part 1 make no sense, and it's just urgh! 

I can happily recommend everything down to 3, would say 4-8 depend on people's likes and dislikes, and several of them have been moved around in this ranking every time I sat down to update it, while 9 and 10 had serious flaws.

Monday, 1 January 2024

My top 10 films of 2023

 As usual, this top 10 is just the new films this year (which does somewhat give away that I will be talking a lot about at least one not-new film in the expanded post with my reasonings).

I have moved everything from 6-11 of these round every time I've written this list so some of them might change again.

The film that didn't make the top 10 of the 11 films I saw in 2011 is Napoleon, which was every bit as bad as you have been told, but was visually better than most of the other films.

I can only truly recommend the top 2 films (don't get me wrong, I loved Across the Spiderverse, but I do not approve of cliffhangers).  I enjoyed everything down to 6, and and am willing to admit the virtues of everything down to 8.

1 - Polite Society

2 - Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning

3 - Across the Spiderverse

4 - Guardians 3

5 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

6 - Antman and the Wasp: Quantumania

7 - Indiana Jones 5

8 - Dungeons and Dragons

9 - John Wick 4

10 - Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan/Three Musketeers: Milady

Thursday, 2 February 2023

Film Review - Blinded by the Light

The year it came out, I named "Blinded By The Light" my favourite film of the year. I stand by that. 

I have no idea if it's a good film mind you, because it just blows past good, straight past all my critical faculties. 

It captures that teenage feeling of no-one understanding you except your band, in all its melodramatic glory. I mean it, that windswept scene, who hasn't felt precisely that? 

Maybe that's why I love the film - the way it reflects so many of my experiences. Not just "my favourite band are the only people who understand me", but the town in economic distress ('Luton is a Four-Letter Word' indeed), the friend you shared your music with, Leicester being the escape from your rundown town, so much of it. 

That's before we get to Roop looking so much like A who was my mate who shared his music with me. (No, seriously, that was uncanny, and means I get guilt for not keeping in better touch with A every time I think of the film.) 

The whole thing is filled with so much love, from Javed on down. Everyone is trying to get tomorrow and helpd each other as best they can (except Eliza's parents and the National Front, and fuck the National Front). 

The love is everywhere - find me a scene more filled with love than the one where Javed's Mum dyes Javed's Dad's hair. 

It would have been so easy to make Javed's Dad the boo-hiss disapproving Dad of legend, but he's not. He disapproves, yes, and he doesn't understand, but he's trying so hard and it's clear throughout that he loves his son. Even if he's terrible at showing it. 

The other thing I really like is that Javed is not over-idealised. As it's based on an autographical book, it must have been so tempting to make Javed super-sympathetic and always right, but he isn't. He gets to be mean, thoughtless and selfish at times. He's a teenager and feels like it. I also like that, unlike a lot of other Bildungsroman-type films, Javed grows through his own experiences and not the suffering of others. 

In short, I loved it.

Wednesday, 18 January 2023

Film Review - Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

Spoilers throughout, along with guest commentary from L (in purple).

This film does not hang together well.

If that's a problem for you; this is not the film for you.

This said, if you came into a film co-billing Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson & Jason "The Stath" Statham, and were really needing a film that hangs together well…you have unreasonable expectations, and need to have a word with yourself.

No, run along and have a word with yourself; the rest of us have other business to which to attend.


Whether by accident or design, it feels like an otherwise unrelated film, a buddy cop film along the lines of Tango and Cash was shoehorned into a Fast & Furious shape.

Add to this the first half an hour or so where we have two unpleasant characters being unpleasant to each other and generally acting like they've got testosterone poisoning and you've got a film that quite quickly teeters over onto the "no" side of the "yes/no" pile.

Sudden unexpected Ryan Reynolds does not help its standing.

It does settle down after the first half hour and becomes watchable if your pleasures are CGI action adventure-y.

There are some nice character touches. Vanessa Kirby and Helen Mirren are their usual excellent selves, and Eddie Marsan's not-so-evil scientist going HAM with a flamethrower stirs something deep in my soul, but the film's basically a waste of Idris Elba which is a terrible shame.

Come to think of it, when was the last time Idiris Elba wasn't wasted? Thor 3? Maybe?

Having read up on the film to write this, I have discovered that the film was David Leitch-directed goodness which explains why the fight scenes are so good.

The stunt people earned their money, there's a motorbike stunt towards the start in particular that is just *chef's kiss*.

The continuity department did not earn their money. I'm not just talking about the part of the film where the characters are said to be landing in one country but the on-screen sign is for a city in another country, but also mid-scene watch switches that are so obvious even little old me, infamously oblivious to that sort of thing, notices.

There's lot of little moments that destroy believability, not least that Hobbs & Shaw takes place in a post-apocalyptic hellscape of augmented super soldiers, nanoviruses, and Samoa apparently never having discovered rugby.

One of these things is more unbelievable than the others, and it's not the super soldiers.

Now probably part of that is that none of the film was filmed in Samoa, it was filmed in Hawaii. While I am aware that the concept of Samoan brotherhood espoused by the film's characters is about people not places, and the large Samoan diaspora in Hawaii, if you're going to have characters spend so much time talking about the glory of Samoa, at least help their economy out by filming there.

Overall, the bits that don't work are the bits that connect it to Fast and Furious, which I think strengthens my feeling that it was based on an unrelated script and they've just smooshed it in.

The main problem is [Jason Statham's character's name] Deckard Shaw He gets a name when he stops basically being Jason Statham. I will never forgive him for killing Han, and I don't care how they have since retconned that. At the time, he was still responsible and it remains unforgivable.

If you like mindless explosions, it's not bad, but even in that genre, it's at best mid-range.

If you want to watch The Rock, watch "The Rundown/Welcome to the Jungle"; if you want to watch Jason Statham, watch "Hummingbird" (which proves he can act if he's bothered to).

In neither of those films are we subjected to a hellscape where Samoa doesn't have rugby.

Wednesday, 11 January 2023

My top 9 films of 2022 - Once more, with explanations

You'll notice this top 10 is lacking one film.  That's because I didn't see 10 new releases in 2022.  The cinema had two things working against it in summer, excellent weather and the Commonwealth Games, and then the end of November/start of December when I would normally have caught up, I was taken out by the cold that knocked me sideways for 3 weeks (yes, it was just a cold, no, I have no explanation).

This means I've not seen Black Panther 2 yet, which I aim to remedy shortly.  I doubt we're going to have excellent weather two years in a row, so hopefully 2023 will see me watching more films in the cinema.

I am applying my usual 4 criteria:

a – did the film do what it set out to do?

b – did it use its resources to its best ability? A £250,000 film is not going to have as good explosions as a £25,000,000 film, or it shouldn’t, and if it does, there’s something wrong with the £25,000,000 film. Basically, it's a technical merit score.

c – Intellectual satisfaction – does the film’s plot pull some really stupid move at the last moment? Does the plot rely on characters being more stupid than they are?

d – Does this work as a whole? Did it work for me? I am aware that this is the most subjective of subjective criteria!


1 - Cyrano

I cried for three quarters of this film.  I am not sure I can recommend it more than that (matters were not helped by me knowing what happens next).

Sure, I have opinions on some of the changes and the marketing, but it's a joy.

(Also, I will never forgive various awards ceremonies for not giving "Wherever I Fall" something - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHo3w5ORcdY)

2 - Parallel Mothers

The thing I like about Almodovar is he writes woman who are real in all the best, jagged ways.  I have no idea what they'll do next.

I know some people find him a little too much but this is one of his good ones.

3 - Bad Guys

This is an absolute joyous delight of a film.

I love Snake the most, of course I do, and this deeply stupid joke (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_inDxb7wQ-Q) got the second biggest belly laugh of the year out me.

I'm cheating slightly, because I saw this on an aeroplane, but despite a 24 hour delay to the flight, it still made me smile so much.  The lady who sat next to me would also like to add her vote.

That's how good it is - it makes jetlagged strangers talk to each other.

4 - Bullet Train

D wanted to see a stupid film to keep him amused for a couple of hours.  This filled that gap.

Is it good?  I don't know.  But it is enjoyable.

The Boomslang's character card got the biggest belly laugh of the year.

5 - Everything Everywhere All At Once

This one is actually probably me being the problem.  Like, I love the idea of it, and the execution of it (and the rock universe), but mindless positivity annoys me as much as mindless negativity.

6 - Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Skipping all my spoilery comments, this was a fun film, even if it's yet another example of Strange being used as the springboard for other people's films rather than getting one of his own.  (I still want Strange vs Mordo.  I am never getting Strange vs Mordo.  I refuse to accept this.)

7 - Spiderman: No Way Home

I am the problem with this.  Nine tenths of this is solid, it's just the remaining tenth annoys me to beyond reason.  And yes, it's to do with the not-quite-avunculicide.

8 - Thor: Love and Thunder

I appreciate Taika Waititi's attempt to do a Brechtian superhero film.  Even if it didn't work, I appreciate the attempt.  I am also deeply amused that, the things I didn't like about Thor: Ragnarok, that I got told I was being a spoilsport about, are the things everyone else who loved Ragnarok hated about Love and Thunder.

Also - killer bunny!

9 - Uncharted

This was just bad.  At some point, Hollywood will have to realise that a tragic backstory does not equal characterisation.

It's a film that features a battle between airborne pirate ships and it's still the worst film I saw in the cinema last year by some way, that is how bad it is.

Wednesday, 4 January 2023

My top 9 films of 2022

Normally I start with just a before posting the explanations a week later because I'm running out of the door to get home for Christmas.  Due to everything, this is a list only for the time being because I am rushing back from Christmas.

I am reasonably sure that when I write the full version, none of the numbers will change.  

I recommend everything down to 3.  4 and 5 require you to be in the mood.  6 is passable (actually enjoyed it more than Everything Everywhere All At Once but it's also a much easier film to watch).  7, I am probably the problem.  8, I know what they were going for, they missed.  9 is just appalling (except one bit).


1 - Cyrano

2 - Parallel Mothers

3 - Bad Guys

4 - Bullet Train

5 - Everything Everywhere All At Once

6 - Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

7 - Spiderman: No Way Home

8 - Thor: Love and Thunder

9 - Uncharted

Wednesday, 24 August 2022

X Marks The Spot - A Ranking of the X-Men films

And now the last in this wave of X-Men-related posts - a ranking of the X-Men films. 

First, a caveat, I still haven't seen Logan. When it was released, L banned me because he was more than slight (and justifiably) concerned that I would cry so hard I would desiccate (full story here - https://fulltimesportsfan.wordpress.com/2017/03/04/logan-which-im-banned-from-watching/). Unfortunately, due to content and language, when it's shown on TV it tends to be after 9 pm, which is when Mum calls so I haven't had the chance to watch it since. One of these days I will set aside an afternoon to watch it, but I haven't managed that yet. 

With that understood, a countdown from 9 to 1 below.

9: X-Men: The Last Stand (or X-Men 3 as everyone calls it). To quote T, it was made by the despair squid, it's the only explanation. In between at least three moments where the audience goes "but character X would never do that", a character who looks like Maggot but has Marrow's powers and randomly killing off characters at the same time as pulling the second stupidest incident of Marvel-Dead in Marvel film history ... it's not good. 

8: X-Men: Dark Phoenix - Terrible dialogue for everyone. Too much action, not enough character. Randomly making Emma Frost an alien. None of these are factors in its favour. 

Those are the only two films I probably would actually not recommend. The rest all have at least a few plus points. 

7: X-Men: Apocalypse - Apocalypse the Eternal should not feel like an afterthought in his own film, and it felt like half the film was missing. That being said, it contains the Plane Scene of Much Ow! and the look of Peter's face when he realises, this time he just wasn't fast enough. 

6: X-Men Origins: Wolverine - It leans too hard into making Wolverine a generic action hero. Hugh Jackman, lovely, marvellous, fantastic Hugh Jackman, cannot do dramatic "nooooos". On the other hand, Danny Huston gives good slithery evil as Stryker, I get to have flying exploding playing cards on my cinema screen, and for all he looks nothing like Sabretooth, Liev Schreiber gets him right. There's also the excellent pre-credits scene which would probably have been better received if Watchmen hadn't done the same thing better at around the same time. 

Everything placed 5 or higher, I actively enjoy and recommend. 

5: The Wolverine or Wolverine in Japan. The idiotic real name is probably the worst thing about it. Other than that, what's not to love. It's Wolverine with a teenage girl sidekick, well done fight scenes and a film that gets Wolverine. 

4: X-Men: Days of Future Past I am strongly tempted to put this second, and basically 4, 3 and 2 are all equally good, or near as damn it equally good. This has some excellent character bits, the most gloriously ridiculously brilliant action setpiece with the RFK stadium (seriously, you could hear the Guardian film reviewer giggling about it in his written review) and some excellent Mystique bits. 

Why is it lowest of the top 4? They kill a certain character off, and unfortunately, when the comic did it, I swore never to forgive them and so I'm not going to forgive the film for it either. 

3: X2 - X-Men United - Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler (and I don't care that it was a deleted scene, Nightcrawler and Mystique). Brian Cox giving excellent slithery evil as Stryker. *That* moment where Magneto does the thing because he actually believes he's right and what happens in this may have made him even more "ends justify the means". The end scene! 

The only draw back, matters Phoenix Force seemed a little rushed. 

2: X-Men: First Class - as the writers and producers admitted, they didn't have the money for big action scenes so they did character stuff instead. So much glorious character stuff. Banshee!!! Hank!!! Presumably teenage/early adult characters actually acting like it. The fact that I wanted to shake sense into both of the lead characters exactly when the film wanted me to. 

Best of all, the parts of it that make up "Mystique Origins (part 1)" (Mystique Origins (part 2) is the best bits of Days of Future Past). 

1: X-Men - So part of it was that this was at the height of my comic book times, and seeing the Marvel logo on the big screen back when getting to a cinema was a major process. 

The other part of it is that I love it so much. 

It's not perfect, Storm's dialogue needs a rewrite, but everything else - the opening conversation between Professor Xavier and Magneto, the introduction to Wolverine, that Wolverine, while pretending to be grumbly and grouchy immediately tries to protect Rogue, yet more teenagers actually behaving like teenagers, the sheer gribbliness of everything to do with Senator Kelly, both his politics and his fate. Rogue and Wolverine at the end of the end fight scene. 

I love it the absolute most out of all of the films.

Monday, 15 August 2022

Film Review - X-Men: Dark Phoenix

 Spoilers throughout

With Dark Phoenix I find myself torn because I am not sure how much of my dislike of the film was it being bad, and how much of my dislike is how close it came to being better.  

I'll quickly skim through the bits I liked - Kurt being the loveliest (even if Kodi McPhee's accent continues to be made of LOL), Genosha not starting in (hell)fire and the film getting me to shout at Charles the way it wanted me to (even if I don't actually believe in the film's solution to the problem, mostly because Hank does not have the personality to be a headmaster and no-one else is alive or around).

The largest part of the problem was the film spent so long on action scenes that went nowhere that there was no time for character bits.  Now that was fine for Xavier and Magneto where we know them well enough, but it's a problem for the characters, or versions of these characters, that we've barely met like this Scott Summers and this Jean Grey.

Jean is the one who suffers the most from this overweighting of action over character.  Sophie Turner does amazingly well with nothing, Jean's dialogue being the same three lines on repeat all the way through.   

I'd accepted that one of my bluesome twosome was not going to make it out alive, and was just happy it wasn't both of them.  Hank suffers a lot from having nothing to do, with a lot of the rage reaction he ought to have being given to Magneto instead.  I'm not sure if that's because it's more expensive to pay for the blue furry special effects than Michael Fassbender's wages or what, but it was annoying.

The other person who got to have manpain over the suffering of the female characters rather than be useful is Scott.  Now I am miffed because they have finally made a film where Scott gets something to do … and they have given the role to someone with the range of a wooden spoon.  The one poor choice the X-Men casting directors have made over 10 films really broke part of the heart of this film.  I didn't believe in anything Scott was going through.

But the worst thing about the film is that they finally had a perfect Emma Frost and they made her a space alien for no good reason.  I don't even like Emma Frost but Jessica Chastain in the scene they used in the trailer was perfect, all slinky evil and seducing Jean to the darkside; the White Queen of the Hellfire Club writ cinema screen large.  Oh, how I would have love the film that scene was from.  But no, we got random alien Emma instead.  

And that's the point, if they'd wanted aliens there is a Phoenix Force plus aliens story.  It's called the Dark Phoenix story - you know the comics arc this film is named for.  It's a fantastic story, with aliens, but no Emma Frost.  Just make Jessica Chastain Deathbird and have her be the power-mad dictator instead of D'Ken.  Or do the Hellfire Club story properly.  Do not mix and match and end up with sludge!

(Like I said, I would be happier with this if that one scene hadn't given me perfect Hellfire Club Frostie)

Overall, that’s why the film doesn’t work.  It tries to be all things to everyone and ends up missing important things about all of the characters.

Wednesday, 26 January 2022

John Wick: Parabellum nearly got me punched in the face

There is a scary gif later on. I promise you it is vital for the story. 

I had missed the first John Wick film for some unknown reason, probably fencing. And the second came out during what we will refer to as the unfortunate Newcastle time. 

So I hadn't seen either John Wick film. This surprised L, who thought it would be precisely the sort of violent baroque nonsense that would appeal to me. 

I suspected it would be, certainly Chad Stahelski and Jonathan Eusebio (and Jon Valera) is a combo that creates fight scene joy, and I was going to go along anyhow. 

However, apparently, I didn't look suitably enthused so L played his trump card - Mark Dacascos. Now L knew I was a big fan of Mark Dacascos, and he correctly suspected that I hadn't heard he was going to be in John Wick 3. 

Unfortunately, L had somewhat underestimated my reaction. Imagine you are happily sitting on a sofa, telling your friend something you think will make her happy and you get this reaction (this was his actual description of events):

 

via GIPHY

You too would nearly swing for the person golluming at you. 

In my defence, I was surprised, it's an actor who I really like in action film that had the promise of being glorious baroque violent nonsense and I am an enthusiastic person. 

Somehow, I avoided getting punched. 

The film itself was enjoyable nonsense. It's very much an excuse of a plot used to string together a series of cool fight scenes and some cool character bits. But it's best not to think about the plot too much, or indeed at all, because it makes no sense if you spend more than 3 seconds thinking about it. For instance, the entire Halle Berry bit, nothing but an exceptionally fine piece of nonsense diversion (with remarkably immortal dogs). On the other hand, it does cause Said Tamaghouni to appear on my screen so I shan't complain too much (why, oh why, is he not in all the things?) 

The whole thing was stuffed with solid actors (to the point where every second scene caused a moment of "oh, it's thingy") and let them get on with it. It turns out, if you give good actors space to do their thing, they will add to what would otherwise be a very flat story. 

Other things that helped with that is the set design and cinematography. This world is believable as a shadowy underworld running alongside our own, with its own ridiculous rules, and dark and miserable and rainy, and light merely deepening the shadows. 

 I loved so much of it; 

the King of the Bowery (and yes, I plan on making the pigeon speech into a cross-stitch sampler), 
Ian McShane doing charming and sinister as he does so well (Ian McShane makes everything better),
Lance Reddick,
the Adjudicator and the sheer power and lack of fear (the Pax Romana lives),
unexpected Yayan Ruhian,
watching a film that understood how much I wanted to see several of these actors in anything ...

And Mark Dacascos being sinister and odd and weird even for an assassin and just ... 

I was filled with glee pretty much throughout. It's a spun sugar web of nothing but style that seems to have been made for me. 

That is where my review ends, the rest is spoilery comments about the ending - because yeah, no way was Winston aiming to kill John Wick. If Winston wanted him dead, he would have been dead. And I think the Adjudicator knows it. I think Winston is using him as part of a power grab against the High Table, but then we're back with the important statement - Ian McShane makes everything better and I want him to lurk sinisterly and avoiding Wickian vengeance for at least two more films.

Wednesday, 12 January 2022

Set of Six - Which six films would I pick for a Marvel film marathon to lead into Endgame

A cinema near L does theme days, where they show all of a set of films one after the other e.g. all the LOTR films or a selection of Schwarzenegger. There was talk of them doing an MCU-athon running into the first showing of Endgame. 

So L set me a task - having watched Avengers: Endgame, which Marvel films would you choose to lead into it? 

I'm only allowed to pick 7 films, because that is the maximum they can show in a row for these things. 

Presuming Endgame would be shown as film 7, that leaves me with 21 films to fill 6 spaces. 

I think you'd have to have Infinity War to lead into Endgame, so we're down to 20 films and 5 spaces very quickly. 

Some films are easy for me to cut. I know you can enjoy Endgame without The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2 or 3 or Spiderman: Homecoming (because I still haven't seen any of the 4 films mentioned, or not all the way through) so out they go. 

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was mostly a re-tread of 1 so to save space, I will boot that one too. 

I am booting Thor: Ragnarok next because, enjoyable though it is, I think the inevitability of Thor forgiving Loki is present in every other Thor-featuring film and, because it's not clear where Bruce flies off too in Age of Ultron, his return might not need explaining. 

Doctor Strange is also skippable, because it mostly sets up its own sequel which we never got. I think the gist of Stephen Strange (sarcastic, excellent magic user, takes "thou shalt not kill" very seriously) is covered in Infinity War. 

13 films, 5 spaces 

This is where it gets tricky, because I have to try and figure out which of the characters get enough introduction and time in the "Avengers" films that I don't need to include their solo films. 

If I include Civil War, it may ease things for several characters. 

I don't want to get rid of Black Panther because it's my favourite of the Marvel films, but I think T'Challa gets enough of an intro in Civil War that it's doable, and I think Scott Lang falls under the same category so that's Antman 1 and 2 out too. 

9 films, 4 spaces 

My first attempt at this featured me cackling with glee because I might be able to boot Thor: The Dark World, which is probably the weakest of the MCU films. And then I remembered I couldn't because of the Frigga scene. As it does some very quick sketching of everyone non-Thor of the Asgardians and associated peeps, I fear it must be kept instead of the first Thor film. This makes me sad. 

7 films, 3 spaces 

I think Winter Soldier gets booted next. Very little of it is brought up again or needed to understand what follows. 

6 films, 3 spaces 

I think we need to keep Avengers Assemble for whacky time travel hijinks and the excellent fight that is called back to in Endgame. 

5 films, 2 spaces 

This is where I am having to hope Civil War explains Vision and Wanda well enough (that film is having to do some damn heavy lifting), so I can save space by booting Age of Ultron. 

4 films, 2 spaces 

I want to keep Iron Man in, because Tony needs to be the bookend, for bits of Endgame to work (see, L, I am going for thematic consistency). And I think Cap 1 needs to be kept for similar. 

Which means I have to hope that Infinity War provides enough of an intro to the Guardians gang and Endgame has enough Cap Marvel to make sense without her solo film. 

So, after all that, my 7 are: 

Iron Man 
Captain America: The First Avenger 
Avengers Assemble 
Thor: The Dark World 
Captain America: Civil War 
Avengers: Infinity War 
Avengers: Endgame 

Am I happy with that list? 

Sort of. 

Part of the problem is that I am having to cut some of my favourites out for some of my less favourites, and, like I said, having to keep in Thor 2 which is probably the weakest out of the whole 22, which makes me cranky. 

But the films that I have kept should make the important emotion-hitting parts of Endgame work. 

It's really brought home to me how good a job Marvel have done of making it a cohering universe where every bit matters, but I do now further understand D+R's complaint that the MCU suffers from continuity lockout if you're not willing to watch 4+ films a year. 

I'd be really interested to know other opinions on what the 7 films could be.

Wednesday, 29 December 2021

Top 10 films I saw in the cinema in 2021

I start with the usual disclaimer - this is not intended to be a best films list; this is a list of films I've enjoyed the most. 

If you would like a more reasonable list, may I recommend @PostCreditMR on Twitter, we disagree sometimes but his reviews are always well-reasoned. 

As a general summary of the year, I was impressed with the general quality of the films. While no film was a good as Jo Jo Rabbit or Away, both of which are exceptional and I would recommend to anyone, this year, the positives outweigh the negatives of all the films down to 13, and possibly I am just being about number 14. 

I am applying my usual 4 criteria: 

a – did the film do what it set out to do? 
b – did it use its resources to its best ability? A £250,000 film is not going to have as good explosions as a £25,000,000 film, or it shouldn’t, and if it does, there’s something wrong with the £25,000,000 film. Basically, it's a technical merit score. 
c – Intellectual satisfaction – does the film’s plot pull some really stupid move at the last moment? Does the plot rely on characters being more stupid than they are? 
d – Does this work as a whole? Did it work for me? I am aware that this is the most subjective of subjective criteria! 

With that, I bring you my top 10 of the year. 

1 - Jungle Cruise/Boys from County Hell 

Apparently I am not allowed to have Jungle Cruise this high just for the action scene set to an orchestral version of Nothing Else Matters.  

But it's not this high just because of that, or because Emily Blunt makes everything better. It just works. 

I am vividly aware of the film's flaws but I loved it. 

Boys from County Hell is from the other end of the budget scale, but they used the money well - the opening was well done 'orrible. The sound design was particularly awesome. There's a moment, which I shan't give context to avoid spoilers, where you go "I know these people". It's got a sense of place and character that's exquisite. 

I definitely recommend it for all your vampire film needs. It's a combination of the correct amounts of scary, funny and touching. 

3 - No Time To Die 

There is nothing wrong with this film, I just have a standing disagreement with the filmmakers about who James Bond is and who he should be. 

I did love the new 007 mind you. 

4 - Monster Hunter 

I only saw this after the offending scene had been cut. The rest of the film was good enough that I am annoyed that they were stupid enough to include it. 

With regard to the rest of the film, it did lots of fun things with language, the SFX for the nasties was suitably gribbly and it stared Milla Jovovich and Tony Jaa. I am easily pleased. 

I've never played the games so I cannot comment on how closely it hews to the canon or if the film does it justice. The ending totally set up a sequel we will never get which is also annoying. 

5 - Last Night In Soho 

This one gave me difficulties. It's original, has a very distinctive visual language and excellent soundtrack, production values and acting. Trouble is that it just doesn't hang together. It's basically a toss-up whether to put this here or after the swatch of superhero/superhero-type films. 

6-9 - Snake Eyes, Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings and Black Widow 

They really are a clump. 

Of the clump, I liked Snake Eyes the best. It could have done with a stronger actor in the lead role but all else was catnip for me. I think I have fallen for Storm Shadow again though. 

Suicide Squad was the one of the four that made me cry. To avoid spoilers, it was *that* scene with Ratcatcher's father because I am Team Vermin and James Gunn apparently knows just how to stomp on my heart (no, I am never forgiving you for other spoilery thing, Mr Gunn [well played]). 

Is it for the faint-hearted? No. 
Could it have done with someone telling James Gunn "no" occasionally? Yes, hence why its so low on the list. 

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - I enjoyed it, I loved the style and some of the meta touches. Other bits I thought were overbroad, and one spoilery thing will thoroughly annoy me for some time. 

Black Widow - I see why everyone else love it. The reasons I didn't are a mixture of my own narrative preferences, other things beyond their control (I was never getting my hella dark Rachel Weisz as Natasha's original handler who betrays her low-tech spy movie) and a couple of glaring "you (blanking) what?" moments. 

10 - Dune 

I wanted to love this. I would have settled for liking it. I think I read a completely different book to Denis Villeneuve. The film was beautifully made, excellently directed, produced, visually FXed and soundtracked. And could have been half an hour short if they cut the 15 repetitions of every flashforward down to maybe 3. 

Fuller reviews of these films, and the 4 others I saw in the cinema in 2021 to come.

Wednesday, 22 December 2021

Avengers: Endgame

Review is spoiler-ridden (complete with a small spoiler for Dark Knight Rises).  And also high-pitched and squeaky in parts.

Friend C didn't like Infinity War, but she admitted that might have been because she felt there wasn't enough Steve Rogers.  Similarly, I'm not sure how much of my ambivalence to Endgame is because I didn't like what they did with Thor who is my favourite.

In my Infinity War review, I said that Thor was running on fumes and I hoped someone would be there to catch him when he fell.  And there wasn't, and there was much to like about how they handled it:

1) that it wasn't that Korg et al. weren't trying, it was that they just weren't capable of providing the support Thor needed, 

2) that scene where Thor snaps and chops Thanos's head off even though he knows it will accomplish nothing, because he is beyond doing anything but that

3) the scene with Frigga, because of course he's worried that he's not worthy anymore, and of course she realises that something terrible has happened, probably to her, and immediately stops him from telling her what happened and then he has to let her go to her death despite knowing that it's going to happen and !!!

So what am I not happy about with regard to Thor?  Mostly the idea that someone who is over-eating to cope with what appears to be a major case of depression (because the thing we know to be his literal worst nightmare [thank you Age of Ultron] has happened to him) is a figure of fun because "hur hur he fat now".  In defence of how they handled it, at least one person at work thought I was being too harsh on them and they weren't treating him as a figure of fun.

Secondly, how they handled his fat.  "OMG, Thor is so out of shape now, he looks like ... people who play rugby at international level".  I mean, he's solid, but his "out of shape"/fat-suit is better than most of us will look at any point.  Are they trying to give people complexes?

I think that the thing I really don't like is that the arc of Thor's story in his films is "that with great power comes great responsibility" and this film ends with him rejecting his responsibilities, and yes, it probably is the after-effects of everything, and would be justifiable, but after 3 films of character growth going one way, it feels like a huge step back.  (I know, I know, in Taika we trust.)

All that being said, the film still made me cry, for reasons I will go into later, so it still got to me.

The plot was very much an excuse plot, in the traditional style, but they did a good job of giving everyone something to do, especially if you consider the two films as one unit.

Because there's so much going on, a few people are going to get some short shrift in this review.  For instance, Hulk (where they seem to have solved the 'Bruce doesn't want to Hulk out but the audience is waiting for it' problem), and Rhodey, which upsets me because Rhodey never gets enough love.  Also Nebula, who is the unwitting cause of disaster, in a way that plays into how we first saw her and all the other terrible things Thanos has done.  (Thanos isn't getting much either but listen, my Infinity War review was mostly raving about Thanos and Josh Brolin so ...  Although he is very good in the scene at the start where Thanos doesn't care if he lives or dies because he's already won.).

With those apologies out of the way, let me start with the parts of the film I will spend too many words on.

1 - Hawkeye and Black Widow (or, in short, keyboard smash, the superhero film).  I mean, I'm absolutely convinced that Nat knew where he was all along and spent half her time making sure he was a step and a half ahead of Rhodey, because she feels she owes him for trusting her.  Then the moment they come up with a possible way of going back, Hawkeye is the first to volunteer, then he sees the kids and you're like "no, don't talk to them, don't touch them, you will break the space time continuum, and ruin your chances at happiness forever."  And then he gets time-snapped back just before he can, and it's worse, somehow it's worse.  

And then they get sent to Vormir.  And it's horrible.  Whoever would have got sent there, it would be horrible.  But with some of the others you could at least go "fine."  Thor, the position he's in, fine.  Cap - fine.  Iron Man - fine.  But not these two.  Not when the thing that has to happen to get the soul stone has to happen and they're best friends and no!

Can I reiterate that I was at "no!" the minute I realised they had been sent to Vormir.

And I did not retreat from "no!" at any point. 

It was done perfectly.  Every bit from the moment they realised that for this plan to work, one of them needed to die onwards.  The fact that both their first thoughts were not "how do I save myself", but "how do I make sure it's me that ends up at the bottom of the rock".  That they both tried to lie to the other one about that being their main thought to try to prevent the other one from being guilty and that neither of them convinced the other one for even a nano-second.

The fight, and the way it called back to Avengers Assemble, and the utter trust between them because they were fighting damn hard to make the other one be the one to survive and then that moment where Nat said, "let me make this choice" (or thereabouts).  She is a most-excellent godparent (I also have the problem that I was brought up to believe that in that situation, that's what the godparent is supposed to do, and I discovered that ... I have been socialised differently to other people).

And oh, Nat and Hawkeye and !!!!

2 - Steve Rogers - okay, so the thing I find really interesting about Steve Rogers in the film actually has very little to do with Steve Rogers, but I am fascinated by the response to his choice, and how similar it is to the reaction people had to Bruce Wayne's choice at the end of Dark Knight Rises.  The films are getting to the question of "how much can we expect from our heroes?", and where is the line between "with great power comes great responsibility" and a hero's right to some kind of life outside superheroism.  Then there's this interesting disconnect between an online generation who are supposed to be all "look after yourself, self-care is important," but not extending that to this sort of character, and obviously, this is fiction, but ooh, that's interesting to me.

Plus, it's not like he and Peggy hiding in backrooms and knitting in the altered past.  (I was reasonably sure that the film itself hinted at a lack of hiding, and I think Black Widow confirmed it.)  [Insert rant about audiences having no whatever-the-film-equivalent-of-reading-comprehension-is]

Cap was also involved in one of the scenes that made it clear that Marvel have written themselves some very nice loopholes if they need to reset, which is sensible.

I think he told Bucky what he was up to before he left, there is no other way of reading that scene.

3 - Gamorra - Talking about Vormir *and* giving themselves loopholes.  On the other hand, ack, a Gamorra who hasn't had a chance to become the Gamorra we know and love having to cope with that crew who, you know, love her and miss her and will, accidentally because they are morons, remind her that she is not the Gamorra they know and love at least 3 times a day.  In between her and the adventures of Drax and a recovering Pirate Angel Baby I am looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy 3.

4 - Doctor Strange - okay so I have to admit I was mean about Benedict Cumberbatch's American accent as Doctor Strange, coming as it does via Cornwall.  I shouldn't have been, because while the accent still has its Truro moments, he nailed the rest of it.  Because there's this moment when you realise the reason why he was running through so many versions of time to find the least worst one in Infinity War wasn't to find one where they all lived but to find one where Thanos was defeated and the least of them died.  And it makes sense, *for him as a character* and builds on his film, because Strange really is no kill in that, even against villain's minion number 3.  (Also, it was interesting that all of the sorcerers only use magic for shields and general defence when they get spirited back at the end).

Which all leads to *that* moment where Doc Strange looks at Tony and Tony looks at him and they both know that this is the least worst way, and Tony knows that Doc Strange would not have suggested it had there been any other way, and Doc Strange also knows that Tony would rather be the dead one rather than Peter.  I'm wondering if that's the unspoken agreement, had the "remains dead" person been Thor, for instance, I'm not sure Tony would have agreed, and I'm not sure that that Doc Strange would have asked.  I think there is something about Peter's youth, and civillian status.

Of course, that all leads me to person 5 - Iron Man.  I have my usual reservations, mostly that they keep telling rather than showing how great Tony Stark is.  Like the bit with "oh, he's so brave risking his future with his wife and daughter," somehow missing that Scott Lang is willing to risk it too and he has a lovely daughter also.  Or, "he's so clever," when he's building on stuff that Hank Pym, Janet van Dyne and Bruce Banner have done.

It makes sense that it's him though, because he's the one that we started the journey with.

It wasn't actually Tony's death that made me cry, because, let's be honest, the way Tony Stark is, his story was never going to end any other way.

No, the bits that got me were that scene where all our heroes are arrayed and all the villains are arrayed on the other side, and there is a blasted plain and ... I read that comic.  Not that exact comic no, but how many of the comics I grew up with had that as their end fight.  I was keeping it together until T-Challa stepped through one of the sorcerers's portals and then I was gone.  Because the Avengers assembled and the Earth is defended and I am hopeless.

Then I tidied myself up until Happy asked Morgan what she wanted and she said a burger.  And oh Morgan, you have a superhero by your side in Happy, one of the best, superpowers be damned.

Separately, because, as much this wave of films had to finish with Iron Man, because we started with him, none of this would have been possible if the first Iron Man film hadn't been so good.  It might be hard to believe but no one believed that these films would ever grow into the all-devouring mega-phenomenon they have become.  So thanks, Jon Favreau, on behalf of me now, me a couple of years ago when I really did need the escapism, and 13 year old me who would have been bowled over to see her comics on the big screen.

Wednesday, 1 December 2021

Yearly Film Location Post

Yes, this was supposed to be posted in August but I really wasn't joking when I said my offline life has been busy.

This covers films up to 12th November 2017.

There have been very few changes since the last of these posts.

Looking at all locations, including fictional ones, the US, UK and France make up just over 50% (50.2%) of film locations.

If I limit it to real world locations - US and UK make up just under 50% (49.5%).  That remaining 0.5 sliver of the half is films set in France.  

Looking at UK-set films, the films are still predominantly set in England (87.9%).




Wednesday, 25 August 2021

Missing Link (2019 Film)

It's a Laika film so I presume I don't need to say that the production itself was amazing and beautifully done.

I really liked Mr. Link himself, the boat chase and Gamu.  I laughed liked a drain at the Yeti Leader shouting "The people we don't want here are leaving! Force them to stay!" and the misadventures of Stenk, but the parts didn't really mesh into a satisfying whole for me.  It felt like the characters were being squashed into the story rather than what they do flowing from who they are.

Fun film but not as good as it could have been - or I just have unnecessarily high expectations for Laika films.

Wednesday, 18 August 2021

Captain Marvel

In which I am the problem, not the film.

I know what they were aiming for.  Female nerd, of the generation that are now coming into money and power, aged somewhere between 30 and 45, finally gets to see themselves on film.  Girl power etc.

And this is where I become the problem.

Teenage girl me, who would have been hitting her comic book years when the film is set, was an X-Men fan.  I've already had my comic on screen.

If I want an accurate presentation of who I am on screen, it's Beast (or Bruce Banner - when Avengers Assemble came out, people kept saying Mark Ruffalo gave an excellent performance of me on a bad day). It's not someone who joined the US airforce in the 1980s. Given the lengths the first Captain America film went to when explaining that Steve Rogers was a good guy despite joining the US military, when he did it to go and fight in the Second World War, I could have done with them doing the same for Carol Danvers. Because I'm sorry, "I really want to fly awesome fighter jets so I will join the US military, despite what they were doing then" really does distance me from a character. (Literally, one line going "it was the only way I could afford college", and I would have given them a pass).

I've seen myself on screen, I was either blue furry or green angry. They've tried to create a relatable everywoman, but I can't relate to her.

For me, Captain Marvel herself is the least interesting good guy in her film.  (May I repeat, I am aware that I am the problem, not the film) 

This film has some similarities to the bad, outsourced Marvel films there were a few of from the early 2000s onwards, most noticeably:  

  • The bad guy has a squad of henchpeople whose presence or absence wouldn't affect the film.
  • The bad guy is defeated easily, too easily to be satisfying (yes I know Yon-Rog is supposed to be the "Debate Me" guys, but one punch is a lousy way to end a climactic battle).  
One of the big difference between the "Bad Marvel Films" and this is that it has excellent SFX and much better lighting. 

The SFX were really good, and you could hear Fox execs kicking themselves that this film came out first because a lot of the SFX when Carol Danvers gains or uses her superpowers are exactly what you'd imagine and want for the Phoenix Force.

I was amused that evil continues to sound British, and that you could guess that there was something wrong with the theory that "Skrulls: all evil" the minute Ben Mendelsohn's accent wandered into 'Strine.  I understand why they went with that twist, even if it wasn't a twist to anyone who reads comics (Skrulls, much like most of the X-Men, have been bad guys and good guys at different times).  Ben Mendelsohn is the best thing about the film, and I'm not sure why all the reviews didn't rave about him.

Going back to my theme of "I know what they were going for but it didn't work for me", another example was the soundtrack.  It was all the expected female-led hits of my teens (and Elastica.  I mean, I am a-glee over Elastica), and it was supposed to be a nostalgia-rush for people like me.  And it was, to an extent, see the previous comment about Elastica, but it kept being the wrong song for that moment.  For example, "Celebrity Skin" over the end credits.  I love that song.  It takes me back to probably 1998, and German classes in high school, and a time and a place and a mood.  But the younger me who screamed her throat raw singing along to those lyrics knows that that's not the soundtrack to Captain Marvel saving the Skrull, it's the soundtrack to Vers going back to kick Kree ass.  The song is someone at the end of their tether, not someone bringing hope.  It's rage, not kindness.  It's all the wrong song for that moment.

I think that's my overall review, the filmmakers were aiming for nostalgia and resonance with a particular segment of the audience.  As a member of that audience segment, for me, it didn't resonate the way they wanted it to, in fact some of the ways they used to try to get that feeling across caused major dissonance.  

It didn't work for me, but I suspect I am the problem, not the film.

Wednesday, 19 May 2021

Black Widow

Despite how the rest of this post sounds, I will be watching the Black Widow movie in the cinema.  Because you know, explosions and Natasha Romanov (and Rachel Weisz).

The trailers however do not match up to the film I imagined when I heard the words "will also star Rachel Weisz".  Because the film in my dreams (let's be honest *of* my dreams) when I hear that is very different.  It has Rachel Weisz as one of the people who trains a teenage (almost Red Room graduate) Natasha, and she is nasty and horrible and beautiful, charming and alluring all at once.  She's the prototypical Black Widow.

She's also Natasha's handler/co-agent for her first real mission (basically, I want comparisons drawn to Hawkeye in absentia).  Somehow, Weisz's character saves Natasha's life and then goes rogue.  (Or saves her life from an enemy, stabs her to incapacitate her and then goes rogue), and Natasha has to hunt her down.   I'm not sure which reason for defection would be better, for the money or to the side of good.  For the money would be a more personal betrayal, but to the side of good has the possibility of being part of Black Widow's origin story.

Or, Weisz's character never goes rogue, but goes into sleeper agent mode instead, living as an American housewife.  Then, she's reactivated after Natasha joins SHIELD, because the bad guys want to bring Natasha down.  This all happens early enough that Natasha's loyalties are still in doubt (to everyone but Fury and Hawkeye) and Natasha has to hunt her down.

There's so much potential for twisty and dark and "who am I?  Who can I be?" that they don't seem to be using.

They have two solid actresses, why don't they let them do more than (probably enjoyable) kaboomery.

Wednesday, 14 April 2021

Out of Blue

I'm going to start at the end.

When I came back from watching "Out of Blue" at the cinema I looked it up on Wikipedia, and found out that it's based on a book (Night Train by Martin Amis), and that book is a parody. Which makes the film make so much more sense. Unfortunately, the film lacked that reflexive self-aware quality of good parody. There's a beautiful quote from the Torygraph that I think sums the film up perfectly - "This New Orleans-set detective thriller from Carol Morley pulls off an undesirable yet weirdly impressive coup: the twist ending to its murder mystery is somehow simultaneously preposterous and obvious, like a clown car parping and swerving its way towards you from the far end of an airstrip."

That statement is true of everything that happens in the film. You think, oh, they're using this tired trope in this really unsubtle way to subvert it. And then they don't. It's not just one tired trope, it's all of them. In sequence. In obvious sequence.

It wouldn't be so bad, I mean basic thrillers are ten-a-penny, yeah, they're not good, but they're not bothersome either, they're Sunday-afternoon-plans-have-washed-out films. But this film keeps putting on these airs and graces, all "I am a serious film, making serious statements. I AM ART!" when it's really not. It tries to be clever and turns out dumb. Also the physics is terrible. But I suspect that's deliberate, because the physics they use is all trope-y and we're back to "tired trope played straight."

It's a waste of some lovely cinematography and a good soundtrack. And some solid performances. Patricia Clarkson as Mike Hoolihan gives enough mystery and enigmatic to be engaging despite being all but one of the hard-bitten female detective clichés. Toby Jones is Toby Jones so you know he's good. Aaron Tveit's Detective Silvero does a good job of sleazy and sinister ... like every other male character. Basically, the female characters suffer and the men are sleazy and sinister. It's very thin that way.

It's one of those rare films I'd actually disrecommend.