Formula 1 - Austrian Grand Prix 2023

Given orange is not one of Austria's national colours, there was a remarkable amount of it about at the Red Bull Ring. 

To an extent, as a Ferrari fan, I can't be too disappointed, there were two Ferrari podiums. 

On the other hand, sprint races are still a waste of time, and there is no way of stopping Red Bull. 

The thing that makes me happiest about the Grand Prix is that it looks like I might be able to upgrade the Ferrari strategy team's probationary cookie of competence to a full cookie. 

The stacked pit stops didn't quite work as well as they could have done (it's Ferrari, it would be dull if everything went as well as it could), but they show thinking and decisiveness and other things previously missing. 

The major talking point from the weekend (other than Hamilton and Verstappen's little spat about having a single dominant F1 team being boring) was track limits. I have some sympathy for both sides of the argument. Yes, having stewards pouring over footage of the track, flagging it but the message only coming through laps later is good for no one. I did like the suggestion that the message should be sent electronically and flag on the driver's steering wheel, but I'm not sure where on the display it can go and be noticed (have a really interesting article on F1 steering wheels - https://www.mercedesamgf1.com/news/how-does-an-f1-steering-wheel-work). 

On the other hand, F1 drivers, if you're the best in the world, keep it on the race track! It can't be that difficult, both Leclerc and Verstappen managed it. Now that most race tracks don't have walls or gravel next to the track, but have run-off areas instead, people don't respect the edges of the track. The previous solution of "sausage" kerbs were too dangerous (Red Bull is supposed to give you wings, but the cars are not supposed to fly), so this is the solution we've got. 

If F1 is going to keep it though, it needs to be enforced at all the tracks and enforced in a more timely fashion.

A Bushel of the Bard - Comedies

Some time ago, @anaisbelieve on twitter asked for suggestions for Shakespeare adaptations to watch, and I'm using this meme pinched from S. to expand on my thoughts.  The one's I've not seen yet have been skipped.

Originally I was going to something like this following the "Sword-fighting Films" series in the same format, but you've seen how long that's taking so I shall do it this way instead.  Worst comes worst, it'll mean parts of the other posts might be ready.

With advanced warning that the correct answer on how to watch the pound for pound (or minute for minute) best Shakespeare adaptations is to get the BBC's Animated Shakespeare on DVD some adaptation recommendations.

Comedies:

Much Ado about Nothing: I am going to go with the obvious option, because there is a reason it is the obvious option.  

My choice is the Emma Thompson/Kenneth Branagh version, because it is excellent.  Not only do they make Dogberry abideable (I don't care if that isn't a real word), but the "Kill Claudio" scene works because everyone involved treats it as seriously as it needs to be treated.  Because if Beatrice could, she'd do it herself, and Benedick loves Claudio but can't get out of the promise and he's going to go through with it ...

If you want something a little different but still very good, I recommend the Shakespeare Re:Told version with Sarah Parish and Damien Lewis.  I don't like this version just because Hero doesn't end up with Claudio, although yes, that is definitely one of the biggest things in it's favour.  The other main reason is that the leads have enough chemistry to make a houseful of students yell "just kiss already" at the TV.

Taming of the Shrew: I'll go with Shakespeare Re:Told here as well, because in it, she doesn't get any more reasonable, just less unrelentingly horrible.  The Shrew is not tamed, merely redirected (and ends up being the Prime Minister).  Rufus Sewell in a mini-skirt and eyeliner is an added bonus.

The Winter‘s Tale: The only version I've seen is the Animated Shakespeare one.  I recommend.

Twelfth Night: I've seen it live in the Corn Exchange in Manchester, in the round.  Where the front row had to wear pakamacs for reasons.  It was a hoot, and is "the version in my mind's eye".

I've also seen the Animated Shakespeare version, and a National Theatre version during the COVID showings (thank you National Theatre).  Also most of the Joan Plowright version, mostly in the right order (long story, but it was available on YouTube, and may still be).

None of these are bad, the live version is still my favourite though.

A Midsummer Night‘s Dream: Another one where the first version I saw was the Animated Shakespeare one.  I've also seen a National Theatre version (once again, thank you National Theatre for putting them online over COVID), which did pleasingly tricksy things.  Like, literally midway through a speech I went "oh that's what you've done".  I have seen most of the Kevin Kline/Michelle Pfeiffer/various other people version, which also fills me with warm snuggly feelings, even if it has the most gloriously wistful bit with Bottom at the end.

Also during COVID I saw a Globe Theatre version online, which in grand traditional Globe style, I didn't quite like.

The Merchant of Venice: Like everyone else who answered these meme questions, I remember which play I got for exams.  My GCSE English teacher chose this one out of the three options (this, Midsummer Night's Dream and Macbeth) because it had the least worst coursework essay question.  (The question was "Shylock, victim or villain?"  I'm not saying it was good, I'm saying it's better than "the use of words associated with weather to create an effect in Macbeth" and "how to stage (whichever scene it was) in Midsummer Night's Dream".)

That meant we got to read the play out (I got lumbered with Launcelot bloody Gobbo.  My dislike of him is based on experience.  My beloved English teacher didn't hate me, merely knew I could deal with his lines.).

On the other hand, it also means that I've yet to see a proper production of it without coursework hanging over it.  Because we were supposed to watch the Olivier version but something happened (fire alarm most likely) and ... and ... and.  I might have seen all of it in pieces but mostly thinking about aforementioned coursework essay.  

I am aware that's an odd gap.

The Tempest: I do love the Animated Shakespeare version something rotten, even if they soften Ariel and Caliban.  I didn't mind the recent(ish) Globe version, although Roger Allam is by some way the cuddliest Prospero (possibly a mite too cuddly, pers. opinion etc).

As You Like It: This is my favourite of the comedies, I think because everyone (except Jacques) gets a happy ending (and people like Jacques are never happy).  It was my favourite even before I saw the excellent RSC version several years ago (everything about it was excellent, from the acting, to the music, to the lighting.  Like I can still close my eyes and wrap myself up in the lighting effects if I think hard enough level good.)

I may have been biased by the first version I ever saw being the Helen Mirren one on VHS (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077180/).

Histories up next, where I have less positive comments about some versions.

Formula 1 2023 - Spanish Grand Prix and Canadian Grand Prix

For the Spanish Grand Prix, a combination of the hairdressers (qualifying) and some friends visiting (via phone because one of the caught COVID) prevented me from watching the latest episode of "A Comedy of Ferrari Errors". 

I was looking forward to the Canadian Grand Prix because, even if Ferrari screw up, the Canadian Grand Prix is my favourite race of the season. 

Qualifying was not promising, because of course you don't want to have softs ready for the driver on the bubble. 

Why would you want to help both your drivers get into Q3? 

Obviously, the path forward is to make them overtake in cars that are still too wide, even in Montreal. 

The grand prix itself was not its usual fun-filled self (although there was some fun, thanks to De Vries and KMag), but it featured the most unlikely thing - A FERRARI STRATEGY CALL GOING RIGHT!!! 

A FERRARI STRATEGY CALL THAT WAS DIFFERENT TO EVERYONE ELSE'S AND IT STILL WENT RIGHT!!!! 

 Ahem! 

I was in favour of giving the strategy a cookie of competence, but L, who is meaner than me, said it could have been a fluke, and even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Therefore, I am granting them a probationary cookie, as long as they promise not to share it with the tyre team. Underlying cookie image from here - Image by wirestock on Freepik 

This year is still a disaster, but maybe the second half can rescue it. (I am an incurable optimist)

Formula 1 - Monaco Grand Prix 2023

I didn't get to see any of the Monaco Grand Prix because a friend took me to see Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Given this is the third time I've missed a grand prix this season because friends or family organised something at the same time, I'm starting to think they're trying to protect me from Ferrari's continued uselessness.

I had 0 hopes for the Monaco Grand Prix because, as we all know, Leclerc is cursed at home.

Coming out of the film, I looked at the result and saw that Ferrari had matched my expectations and performed awfully. I should probably be happy, I am the only person whose expectations they are meeting ("Ferrari: Team 'far away from expectation', says principal Frederic Vasseur" - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/65761260). You ain't just whistlin' dixie my friend.

It does support my theory that Binotto was not the problem and regime change, with no disrespect to Vasseur, is not the answer.

(Also, on a book-keeping tip, there will be no post next week, but several hopefully the week after to make up for it)

A further thought about the withdrawals from the Women's Tour De France 2022

The trick to blogging is having intelligent friends who spot things you don't.

R pointed out that there's another difference between the men's and women's races.  As is well known, to the extent that commentators make jokes about it, often, particularly on flat stages, nothing much happens for large numbers of kilometres.  The women's races don't have that, a greater percentage of the stage is raced flat out, which might lead to greater wear and tear on the women's race participants.

Withdrawals from the Women's Tour De France 2022

Previously, I've compared the attrition rate of the men's Tour de France with the Giro d'Italia Femminile (https://fulltimesportsfan.wordpress.com/2022/05/18/for-guts-or-for-glory-was-the-2021-tour-de-france-attrition-rate-influenced-by-the-upcoming-olympics/). Last year, however, there was a women's Tour de France so I felt I ought to do a direct comparison. 

(Don't worry Giro d'Italia Femminile, you're still my favourite despite all the nonsense) 

For background on the 2022 Tour de France Femmes (henceforth TDFF), please see here - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_Tour_de_France_Femmes. 

First of all, yes, it was 8 days rather than the 21-ish for the men's, because as we all know, female bodies, absolutely can't cope with longer races (please, please note my heavy sarcasm on this matter).

First, there are the withdrawals by team and by stage:  

Yes, you're not imagining things, 24 teams competed in the TDFF. 

I find that interesting, because one of the reasons given for the shorter race is that the teams cannot sustain a three-week race, but allowing this many teams to compete might be a compromise to allow more women to compete, especially as the women's teams have 6 riders a team (2 members smaller than the men's teams). 

Four teams didn't lose a rider (Canyon-SRAM, St. Michel-Auber93, Trek Segafredo and Uno-X Pro Cycling Team), and no team lost all their riders. 

The Kaplan Meier of overall rider attrition looks like this:  

There was greater percentage drop out than the men's tour. 

However, if you compare them directly (with a small amount of fudging to take into account the different number of stages), as in the figure below, you can see that the withdrawal rate is only slightly greater.  

If we look at withdrawals from individual teams, you can see stage 2 happening to Stade Rochelais Charente-Maritime.  

Looking at withdrawals by individual stage, it looks like this:  

Stage 7 saw the most withdrawals, in fact it and stage 3 made up more than half the withdrawals on their own. 

Stage 7 was the queen stage, so withdrawals make some sort of sense, and Cycling News tells me that stage 3 had that many because of people affected from a crash the day before (https://www.cyclingnews.com/races/tour-de-france-femmes-2022/stage-3/results/).

Breaking the withdrawals down by type, it looks like this:    

27% of the TDFF withdrawals were racers who did not start the stage, versus 29% over the time limit at the finish and the remaining 44% who abandoned mid-stage (I have called Barbara Malcotti's misadventures [https://www.eurosport.com/cycling/tour-de-france-femmes/2022/its-dangerous-barbara-malcotti-booted-out-of-tour-de-france-femmes-after-team-car-breaks-rule_sto9065537/story.shtml] a mid-stage abandon). 

This is a very different pattern to the men's race, where only 5% of withdrawals were due to riders finishing outside the time limit.  There were 26% mid-race abandonments but 68% of withdrawals were due to riders who did not start the stage. Now this was partly due to several COVID withdrawals in the men's race, but the different balance is intriguing. 

I have no data to back up my theory that there is a greater difference between the front of the TDFF and the back than there is within the men's peloton, but I think it's a reasonable possibility. It's not just the cyclists, Vos, van Vleuten, they're good shouts for all-time good, but the support teams. In the men's equivalent, we see the difference between the World Tour and Continental Tour teams easily enough, how much wider is that going to be in the less well funded women's division. 

It'll be interesting to repeat this comparison this year.

Formula 1 - Miami Grand Prix 2023

I don't have Sky Sports so I "watch" formula 1 on the radio. That means I do tend to snatch up any opportunity I can get to watch it on the screen.

My mother, on the other hand, hates formula 1, very much in the spirit of "blöd im Kreis herumzufahren". She swears that both things that happened were accidents but thank to mother-derived-events, I managed to listen to 15 minutes of Miami Grand Prix and qualifying tops.

As a Ferrari fan, you'd be justified in saying that I didn't miss much. As an F1 fan, in general, it sounds like I didn't miss much. I'm perfectly willing to believe Verstappen drove well, but wouldn't it be nice if he had someone challenging him.

(Rumour also states we need to beware, very ware, of whatever they are planning for the Las Vegas Grand Prix, apparently they have promised more ridiculousness than the Miami Grand Prix.)

Formula 1 - Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2023

 (Sorry for the absence, I promise all of it was fun, and some of it will lead to content for the blog)

I didn't have "the BBC radio commentary team writes Fernando Alonso/Taylor Swift RPF live on air" on my bingo card.

On the other hand, it was probably the highlight of the race.

The Azerbaijan Grand Prix frequently has no racing (street circuit, cars too wide to allow passing, DRS zone chicken is the only sporting thing going on) but normally the Baku Chaos Bonanza makes up for that.  This time there was no chaos, so the race was duller than dishwater.

When the highlights of the race are wondering why the Alpha Tauri was so fragile compared to every other car that hit the wall and how long Hulkenberg's tyres would last (answer = not long enough), you know it's not a good race.

I may, however, have had a moment of personal illumination.  Something about the way one of the BBC articles was phrased made me realise that the new sprint format (which is rubbish) is designed to do away with practise to try to provide more excitement at the actual race because the strategy teams will have less data to predict performance with.  Ross Brawn has had to come up with something to fill the time.  I still think the sprints are rubbish, but at least I now appreciate the bounds he's working within.

Formula 1 - Australian Grand Prix 2023

(This wasn't delayed by advanced frustration with the whole thing, but because organising fencing competitions knocks the stuffing out of you. Friends shouldn't let friends be dragged into competition organising. Mine just laugh at me.) 

Where to start with the Australian Grand Prix? I was thinking of this gif:

Let Me Explain Sum Up GIFfrom Let Me Explain GIFs

but even that doesn't cover it. 

Once again, what could have been a half-decent race for Ferrari was ruined by factors out of their control. 

I say half decent, because half the team didn't make it past the first lap. Obviously, that was just a racing incident ... those happen on first laps. 

Much like the Alpine attack (on each other) - first lap after a restart, these things happen, no need to penalise anyone, especially not Pierre Gasly who is one offense away from a one race suspension. 

The thing I don't get, really, really don't get, is how those are just first lap incidents but Sainz jnr and Alonso is somehow someone's fault despite being on a first lap after a restart. 

It's almost like there's no consistency in how the race stewards are handling anything. Now I am used to this between races, because there's different stewards each race, but within the same race is pushing it. 

I'd dab the "even the FIA can't save you now" square, but that's for when Ferrari actually do something wrong, and aren't on the wrong side of screwball stewarding decisions.

In which we know that UEFA won't do anything about dual ownership but a girl can dream

This statement by Aleksander Ceferin about people owning more than one club (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64971337) amuses/infuriates me. 

Partly it's the that they seem to only care now that it's "big" clubs affected (or pseudo-big, call me back when PSG actually win the Champions League), when there's been multi-club ownership for a while. 

The other part is "yes, Alexander Ceferin, head of the organisation in charge of European football, I don't know why the people in power, such as the organisation in charge of European football, haven't looked at it before. Why don't you tell yourself next time you look in a mirror?" 

I know that is not a helpful comment but football organisations don't make me feel helpful. 

I also know this is not going to lead to anything except, at most, some easily circumvented rules intended to establish ethical walls between clubs. 

But my brain decided to think, "what if?" 

For a lot of the conglomerates that own more than one club, the decision will probably be easy. I think the Belgian first and second divisions would see a sudden efflux of money. 

Other teams, such as Udinese and Watford, both owned by the Pozzo family, that could be more interesting, but I suspect they'd keep Watford. On the other hand, their whole business model is based on flipping players and maximising gain so would they even keep either team. (Okay, yes, I know, they're Italian football team owners, trying to guess what they'll do next is impossible.) 

Then the evil cackling began, because I realised this would put Red Bull in a truly awkward position. Because I understand why a Thai drink sold through an Austrian distributor has always made much of it's Austrian-ness, and particularly it's mountain-regions-of-Austria-ness because a lot of the extreme sports that Red Bull chose to build its brand around have strong Austrian presence (you have a sport that features going too fast, in a mostly downhill direction, you'll get Austrians. It seems to be a national problem.). And the factory is there. Which made buying Salzburg and rebranding it make sense. 

It also makes buying Hype-zig (sorry Leipzig) and rebranding it sensible - it was, at the time, a city riding high on a high energy, young, fresh'n'new vibe. 

Let us be honest about the relative strengths of the two leagues - your brand will look cooler doing well in the German Bundesliga rather than winning the Austrian Bundesliga, and it's easier to bring good footballers into a German team. 

So Red Bull are in a right pickle if this new rule is brought in because they would either have to do something really stupid financially (no really, the German Bundesliga team are the financially sensible option), or have to against years and years of marketing positioning. 

That would amuse me anyway, but the idea of Red Bull Salzburg being brought back down to Earth warms the cockles of my evil heart because I was brought up green and white and Rapid (I will accept Admira Wacker Mödling because ... the family friend who is an Admira sufferer has now gone through 56 years of hurt and I don't see it getting better soon). 

Finally, there is hope of not being run over by Red Bull. 

(Before anyone says anything, yes, I get the same sinking feeling in both football and F1, it is unfortunate.)