Better The Devil You Know (Or Missing Bernie Ecclestone)

I can understand why people are glad Bernie Ecclestone has gone. He was a kleptocrat, who didn't get media invented after 1980, and who seemed to be more interested in enriching himself than decent racing.

However, I do worry that Formula 1 fans might miss him more than we expect to.

When Bernie Ecclestone was in charge, you knew who was in charge and who was to blame for things. Who is in charge with Liberty Media? With whom does the buck stop? And I think with a sport, you do need *a* person in charge. Otherwise, instead of moving forward, you have lots of good ideas which never get implemented.

Liberty Media is run by a group of shareholders, who all have to be placated. With Bernie, you knew what he wanted, which was money, and more of it, but the process at least was easy.

The other thing, which could be me doing Liberty a disservice, is that Ecclestone was pretty hot on driver safety. Not openly. If he spoke about driver safety Ecclestone gave press quotes to annoy. But that was his thing, and if you believed anything Bernie Ecclestone said to the media, more fool you. On the other hand, US sports, particularly motorsports, have a reputation for not being careful about safety. Both the halo and the aeroscreen have their issues, but something needs to be done. I worry that Liberty won't give that sort of change the help it needs to be pushed through.

As I said, I could be being unnecessarily pessimistic. Liberty are doing everything right so far, especially putting Ross Brawn in charge of improving the racing, but I do worry that we'll miss Bernie.

Logan, which I'm banned from seeing

There's are many reasons why your friends would suggest you not watch a film.

They might not think it's worth watching, because friends don't let friends watch the Seth Rogen Green Hornet.

They might know it's not the sort of thing you'd like, like the time I suggested my friend, who doesn't like gore, violence and swearing, not watch Sin City.  She made it half an hour in before she said, "I think you were right."  I want it known that I didn't say 'I told you so'.

I'm not banned from Logan for either of those reasons.

No.  L, who has issued the ban, is worried that I'm going to cry so hard that I'll desiccate.

In L's defence, he was sat next to me when I got a little over-involved with the fate of a tree in Guardians of the Galaxy (and bought me a bonsai which is called Groot).  Furthermore, my family do have form on the 'crying so hard it disturbs other people' front.  The Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet was in the cinema the year my girl-cousin studied it and my Uncle took her to see it.  He cried so hard someone else's mother gave him tissues.

It's pretty much a given that I will cry like a baby at Logan.

It's a mixture of things.  Partly because I am a sucker for superheroes, and Logan plus girl-child is my platonic ideal of a Wolverine story.  The first X-Men film is probably still my favourite because they understood that, and there's that wonderful terrible moment where Logan thinks that Rogue is dead and he's doing everything he can, even if it kills him, to bring her back.  That's the nearest I've come to crying at an X-Men film.

The people behind Logan seem to get him, and get which story they're telling.  Right down to the advertising people.  I don't watch superhero trailers before they reach the cinema because I don't like to spoil myself but L does.  And he banned me from seeing Logan the minute he saw the first one.  His exact words were "they're using Hurt as the background music."  Which was when I knew I was doomed (3rd gen Johnny Cash fan here).

But beyond that, it's that it's Hugh Jackman's last film as Logan.  It's that "end of an era" feeling.  Hugh Jackman has been Logan for longer than anyone has been Doctor Who, longer than anyone has been James Bond.

I was 15 when X-Men came out, before my home town got a cinema again.  So going seeing a film was a bit of a production, and a rare treat.  I can remember who I went with.  We're not the same people anymore, there's no way we could be, but Wolverine's always been there.  X-Men 2 was supposed to be the first film I saw on my own in the cinema, but the person at the counter misheard me and gave me a ticket to the Matrix Reloaded instead (yeah, I know!).  Wolverine: Origins was the first film I saw at the new Showcase in Leicester.  First Class, which featured the greatest use of the one serious expletive you're allowed in a 12, was one of the first films I saw in Birmingham, and I saw X-Men Apocalypse in Newcastle.

I've moved house 6 times, but Wolverine's always been there.  I've gone to uni, graduated twice, had three jobs, but Wolverine's always been there.  And now he won't be.

If they do this properly, which from having finally seen the trailer, they are doing, I'm going to cry buckets.  In between me being an X-Men fan for 25 years and some damned good acting on the parts of Sir Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman (who is a criminally underrated actor), it's going to break me worse than Boromir and Thorin did.

So there's a reason L has not just forbidden but five-biden and pi-bidden me from watching it.  It's for my own good.

I'm still going to watch it though because ... oh it looks like it will be so good and I want to keep Wolverine while I can.

Yearly Book Location Update

It's only a month late ;)

As you can see, the variety hasn't improved much. In my defence, I've been reading a fair bit of non-fiction which isn't set anywhere in particular, and the books I have read that are set somewhere particular are either fantasy worlds or written by Plutarch with notes like 'citadel x is probably modern day y'.

6 Months With A Smartphone

My friend L spent several years trying to convince me to get a smartphone and viewed my refusal to upgrade from my brick to be a sign of worrying technophobia in a scientist.

My reasons for not wanting a smartphone were entirely practical. I am clumsy and break things so I can't afford to have fragile expensive things around my person. I also spend a lot of time travelling, especially for fencing, so I don't always have access to sockets. I can't have something that needs frequent charging.

On top of that, I'm also a raving technophobe.

Anyway, due to a new job I needed a phone that would at least let me respond to emails while I was out and about. It came down to a choice between a Samsung S7 and a Sony Xperia Z5 Compact. The Z5 was £200 cheaper, and the only thing that matches my clumsiness is my skinflintedness, so I went with that.

I still think it was the right choice because my phone is so dinky and lovely.

Size does matter on this occasion because I have small hands (at full extension I can't even manage a full octave on a piano. Most frustrating!). That was one of the things putting me off getting a smart phone. I had visions of my desperately trying to keep hold of a giant phone and dropping it, or getting severe finger cramp.

I was also worried about a smartphone being so bulky that it wouldn't fit in my pockets. That was one of the advantages of my old phone, I could shove it in my back pocket and forget about it. Now, the new phone is a bit bigger and heavier than that, but it still fits in fine, even in the ridiculous dandelion print hipsters I wear too frequently.

General Comments on Smart Phones:

I can see why people love them. They're very useful. No more, 'oh heck, I have forgotten to write down my train booking number' or needing to print off maps to know where I'm going.

On the communication front I probably could have survived with just text and talk, but I shan't pretend the ability to send links on the go isn't useful (and a good way of keeping me entertained on my commute).

At the same time, smart phones don't half make the simple things a lot more complicated than before. The difficulty I had in finding things like the calculator was ridiculous, and I still can't figure out how to turn the vibrate setting on.

Getting a phone case is a definite yes. I've got a cheap fake leather one, but it's definitely improved the experience. Mostly because the screen gets a lot less smeared. If anyone has any knitting patterns for phone covers they'd recommend, I'd love to see them because all the ones I can find are a bit too cutesy for my tastes.

Specific Comments on the Sony Xperia Z5 Compact:

Charging and battery life were things I worried about most. I used to say I refused to get a smartphone until they could last 2 days without a charge. This phone can and it's not like I'm careful about battery usage. 

I have noticed that different websites eat different amounts of battery, in particular Cracked.com is an energy eater. My other big worry was going over my data limit, but it turns out there's a button for that.

It's also really solid, and survives me dropping it very well, actually better than the last brick did.

In short, I'm very glad I did finally get a smartphone and I definitely recommend the Sony Xperia Z5 Compact.

The only downside is that L is going to be impossible after this...but that's not really a concern that others need to factor in.

My Top Ten Films of 2016 Explained

The promised explanation for my top 10 films of 2016, mostly because I got the expected squawking noises from the expected source.

First, these are also the only films I saw in the cinema in 2016.  It's a mixture of things, mostly that I no longer have my Cineworld card because the nearest Cineworld to me is now an hour and a half away.  Nothing against the cinema I do have near me, but it does mean going to the cinema has suddenly got more expensive.  My new job is also taking up a lot more of my time than my previous one, which hasn't helped.

The full logic behind my system can be found here, but the short version is did the film do what it was supposed to do?  Was it technically competent?  Did it make me want to go 'but that makes no sense?,' and did it affect me?

1 - Kubo And The Two Strings

I return to my original review of Kubo - "You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fall in love with a child, a monkey, a beetle and an origami figure." (which someone said summed it up perfectly, which is one of the nicest complements I've ever been paid).  It's amazing, a like a good figure skating programme, the sheer artistry of it means you don't notice exactly how amazing the puppet work is, because you forget it's stop motion animation and get completely caught up in the story.

It's truly, truly amazing.

2 - The Jungle Book

I am the only person who could have done without the songs.  They pulled me out of the film something chronic.  Other than that, it was all good.  It's lovingly made, the effects are incredible and it's the only 2016 film that made me cry courtesy of Lupita Nyong'o's Raksha. (Kubo made me make all kinds of peculiar noises instead).

3 - Captain America: Civil War

Definitely the best of the comic book films this year.  It was all interesting shades of grey, and right, wrong and ish, in the way good comics are.  Also Black Panther and Zemo and *that* scene in the snow.

4 - Suicide Squad

Mostly for the visuals and the sense of fun which the rest of the DC-verse seems to lack.  And the soundtrack.  And Deadshot and Harley Quinn.  Oh I loved Harley Quinn and Deadshot so much.  And Amanda Waller - well love might not be the right word, suitably impressed might be better.

I'm happy with my top four and the order that they're in.  It's after the top four that I start prevaricating.

5 - Batman vs Superman

I loved the Bat parts of the film, except how the film kept trying to tell me that he was doing the wrong thing when I think he was doing the only sensible thing, and that's not just Bat-bias.

I can see what they were trying to do with Lex Luthor even if it didn't work.  The film's quality jumps amazingly every time it's Holly Hunter vs Lex Luthor.

They still don't get Superman, which is a problem when he's the co-headliner.  And because of that it feels like the film lacks heart.

6 - Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I preferred this film when it was called "A New Hope".  And there's yet another JJ Abrams character with Daddy Issues.  And dear lord, do Kylo Ren's many flaws ever make it seem like Luke is the worst Jedi master ever.

That being said, I do love Finn and Rey, and exactly how little time the First Order rank and file have for Kylo Ren's temper tantrums.

7 - Star Trek Beyond

I enjoyed this a lot.  Especially Jaylah.  And Justin Lin can direct all the things because he really conveyed exactly how 3D space and space stations are.

But ...

I kept forgetting I had seen this when I was counting the films I'd seen this year.  That's not a good sign.

8 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

This was good clean mindless fun.  And when I went to see it that was exactly what I wanted to see.  It does exactly what it says on the tin.  And Bebop and Rocksteady are perfect.  Actually perfect.

9 - Doctor Strange

The cape apart, this felt flat, like it was too concerned with setting up the next Avengers film and its own sequel to be a good film itself.  Loved the Night Nurse (and Wong) but the rest of it was flat.

10 - X-Men: Apocalypse

I may have enjoyed it in parts but I have to acknowledge it was terrible.

It felt like half the film was missing.  Our heroes successes came too easily and it tied everything up far too neatly.  Apocalypse felt like an afterthought in his own film and too much of the film felt like generic superhero film, which X-Men should never feel like.

It's a shame, because parts of it were wonderful, mostly the sore, ouchy character bits like Quicksilver's complete inability to spit it out re: his Dad, and Mystique comforting the newbies when they were flying to the finale when you realise that she and Hank are the only ones from their generation left alive.

It should have been so much better.

My Top 10 Films of 2016

That I saw in the cinema.  Full logic to come later.

1 - Kubo and the Two Strings

2 - The Jungle Book

3 - Captain America: Civil War

4 - Suicide Squad

5 - Batman vs Superman

6 - Star Wars: The Force Awakens

7 - Star Trek Beyond

8 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

9 - Doctor Strange

10 - X-Men: Apocalypse

I know I am very part of the problem because Kubo is the only one of the films that isn't a sequel or related to an existing property.  And while I'm sure about the order down to 4, 5 through to 8 are very much in flux.

My lunatic plan for the Mercedes Second Seat

Or musical Formula 1 chairs

While I am completely in favour of whoever Mercedes pick, as long as it's Valtteri Bottas, Nico Hulkenberg or Pascal Wehrlein, this is my plan on what to do with the second Mercedes seat.

I came up with this when I realised that there were 20 races per season and 20 other non-Hamilton drivers.

You might have guessed where this is going.

The other drivers draw a number from a hat, from 1 to 20.  Each race is numbered 1 to 20.  The driver with that number gets the second Mercedes seat for that race.

While I am aware of all kind of problems with that, not least of all practise time and getting race seats fitted, think of all the fun arguments it would settle.  For instance, Hamilton vs Vettel in the same car.  Think also of the fun arguments it would start.  For instance "no fair, driver X only had the seat at race Y which gave him no chance," or "just typical, Z was in the Mercedes the time it failed."  It would mean we could actually compare say Daniil Kvyat and Max Verstappen, or argue that the two races they were in were too different to compare.

So, what's in it for the other teams?

Well, as well as driver two's points counting for Mercedes, they count for their home team too.  Which means that the fight between the teams at the back might get a bit closer, and a bit more interesting (sorry to the Manor fans I know).

The smaller teams might be able to wring more money out of their pay drivers which should help their development for 2018.

What's in it for Mercedes?

Very little, other than my eternal gratitude.  But they'd also be able to show how good their car was if they won the constructor's title despite this nonsense.

I know it's never going to happen, but wouldn't it be fun.

On Nico Rosberg's Retirement

Rosberg’s retirement didn't surprise me as much as it seems to have shocked other people. The timing surprised me, I am not Nostradamus, but not him retiring.

Rosberg has always struck me as a sensible person, in both senses of the word.  I think he knows he’s not a better racing driver than Hamilton and that one World Championship is likely to be as good as it gets.  I think he also knows that there’s no point in carrying on doing something you don’t enjoy when you’ve achieved all you can and have all the money you will ever need.  There was also a certain amount of writing on the wall about his future given how slow Mercedes were being to renew his contract in mid-season.

I have no idea what Rosberg plans to do next, but I hope he has a lot of fun.

I think part of the reason people were so taken aback by his retirement is that most of us would do any number of truly terrible things to become Formula 1 drivers. Yet, there he is, walking away from the best car in the pack, a car that’s still likely to be the best next year, even with the rule changes.

Of course, I suspect that being an F1 driver is one of those things that looks a lot more fun than it actually is.  We get to see the best bits, the actual racing, not the hours of testing, simulating, and work that goes into it.  While it’s about F1 mechanics, there was a really interesting article on the BBC website about the realities of life in Formula 1 which I would recommend.

There is a large part of me that respects Rosberg for leaving as much as anything else he’s done because there must have been great pressure on him to stay.

One thing that does interest me is the number of people who refuse to believe that Rosberg has retired because he wants to spend more time with his family.  Now I know that it’s the traditional fake reason for politicians, but look at Rosberg’s life.  He’s got a wife and a new daughter, that the job kept him away from.  He’s made all the money he’s ever going to need, so he doesn’t need the job, and the job has already killed someone he knew.  If you look at it like that, it makes a lot of sense.

I’m also interested in the way that when a female sportsperson retires to start a family or spend more time with hers, it’s treated as perfectly normal, but if a male sportsperson does it, the sportsman is lying.  People either have a really skewed view of the world, or they don’t think that men love their families as much as women do.  Either way, I feel so sorry for people who feel like that, they seem to be missing out on rather a lot of joy in their lives.

Perfectly Gentlemanly Conduct

I’ve got no problem with what Lewis Hamilton did at the Abu Dhabi grand prix. This is for two reasons :

1 - I am a Ferrari fan and while the team motto isn't “we lie, we cheat, we steal” it easily could be. I have no room to complain about anyone bending the rules.

2 - Hamilton was fighting for the world title. Nothing he did endangered anyone's safety, and Mercedes had already won the constructors World title. There was nothing wrong with what Hamilton did and I'm still not sure why the Mercedes team management tried to interfere.

My only problem comes when he tries to pretend he didn't deliberately slow down to try to help Vettel and Verstappen try to overtake Rosberg. It's like “Lewis, who do you think you’re kidding?” The superiority of the Mercedes to the other cars has been a theme for the past few seasons. It was half a second faster than the next nearest car in qualifying. You can say all you want about tire and fuel management, but there are limits. If he’d said it while tipping a wink, it wouldn’t be so bad. Instead he bald-facedly said he was driving the car at its maximum, when it was clear to everyone from team management down that he wasn’t.

Nobody would think any the less of him for trying everything he could. All of us would have done something similar for such an important prize.

So why lie? 

It’s not like Formula 1 isn’t a sport known for its skullduggery. For example Red Bull’s flexible wings, Brawn’s F-ducts and everything Ferrari did in the years 1996-2009.

I can only imagine he’s either trying to live up to his image of Senna or he’s trying to protect the Lewis Hamilton brand. I’m not sure if either of those two are reasonable.

That image of Senna bares no resemblance to the Senna I remember. The real Senna punched Eddie Irvine and rammed Prost off the road. I think everyone loved Senna with all his flaws a lot more than they would have loved the milquetoast saint he’s sometimes made out to be. For similar reasons, I’m not convinced that Brand Hamiliton wouldn’t profit from him showing a more fighting side. Because of the technical dominance of Mercedes, the last two of Hamilton's title wins have had the air of coronations about them. I think people love a fighting champ a lot more than a serene one. Being willing to show a little steel would have endeared him to people more than 'I didn't do it' does.

Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange is a brilliant example of the danger of expectations.

I expected cool SFX and Mads Mikkelsen.  I got that, and bonus Benedict Wong, so I was happy.  L expected a film that actually worked on its own merits and was left disappointed.  It is quite a flat film, that spends most of its time setting up its own sequel and whatever the Marvel Cinematic Universe equivalent of the Infinity Wars is going to be.

It's also telling that the memorable scenes are the ones with very little in the way of obvious SFX, where they give the actors are given something to do.

I want 16 films of Rachel McAdams's Nurse Palmer going 'oh FFS' at superheroics.  But then again I am entirely happy with the idea of 16 films with Rachel McAdams in.  Dear Hollywood, please cast her in more things.

Spoilers Underneath

For all that I'm supposed to think Doctor Strange is a bit much, he's not actually that much worse than several doctors I know.

I know that Marvel have said that the flyer with a broken spine is not Rhodey, but 1) I think they're lying and 2) if it's Sam Wilson, I riot.

I can't help but feel more sorry for Doctor Strange in the scene where he shouts at Christine than the film wants me to, not least because he was a lot more polite than I would have been.  I don't know if that's because I know how much time and effort you have to become a neurosurgeon, never mind one at the top of his field.  I did like the irony of other surgeons saying to him re: his condition.

One interesting thing is how much Kaecilius thinks that what he's doing is the right thing (as does Mordo, and the Ancient One).

I can see why people make the Tony Stark / Stephen Strange parallels, except it misses the important thing about them.  Tony is driven by not wanting to let his father down, while Stephen Strange is driven by his belief in his own greatness.  Strange doesn't have the same self-destructive tendencies as Tony.  Tony would happily get himself killed several times over to save the Earth or Universe, but I doubt he'd have come up with a plan that got himself out of it alive too.

They've also got very different attitudes to killing people.  I like how seriously Doctor Strange takes the whole try not to kill thing.  The fight scenes did lead to me going hallo there Scott Adkins.  He has joined that select group of people that I recognise from their shoulders.  Maybe recognise isn't the right word, because I couldn't put a name to the shoulders, but I did go 'I know those shoulders from somewhere else'.

Like lots of superhero films, both Marvel and not, the end boss is a bit of an anti-climax.  Although I am deeply amused by the method used to defeat him, it all seemed so easy, and the cost doesn't become apparent until the end stinger.

Saying Chiwetel Ejiofor is good is telling you stuff you already know, but he was oh so good when the film finally gave him something to do.  It meant that for all that this film was flat, I am looking forward to the sequel just for Mordo vs Strange.  But that's exactly what I mean when I say the film spent a lot of time setting up its sequel rather than being its own film.

End Spoilers

Disney Marvel are missing out on oodles of money by not having a Doctor Strange replica cape for sale.  As this isn't like them at all, I do wonder if it's to avoid lawsuits from parents of children who try to levitate.  If they do ever bring out a replica cape, I will be all over that.

I am very aware of the film's flaws, but I am the target audience so I enjoyed it.  To paraphrase N on Facebook, "make a competent films with Marvel Studios at the beginning and I'll enjoy it".