Magic Weekend

Last weekend, as I was in Newcastle, I took the opportunity to go to Magic Weekend at St. James’s Park.

Magic Weekend is when all 12 Super League rugby teams play in one stadium over the course of 6 matches, 3 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday.  It’s £40 for all 6 matches, which is a very good deal.

Now, I’m not saying I had the best view in the house, but I pretty much did.  

I missed the first ten minutes of Wakefield Wildcats vs Widnes Vikings.  On the way down to St. James’s I saw a couple in full Viking dress.  Complete with hat and horns.  

Other important Widnes information includes the fact that the Viking fanclub is called the Stronghold.  Because of course it is.

The Widnes mascot was fantastic fun.  In between hitting the Wildcat mascot with his axe (don’t worry, they hugged and made up

), and lending a Widnes fan in a wheelchair the axe and running her up and down the side of the stadium so that she could hit people with it, he was fun chaos.  And trust me, if you’re anything to do with Widnes, you need your fun from somewhere.

I did figure out what Widnes’s problem was.  They’ve got nothing going forward, so they have to defend constantly.  That leads to them tiring, their opposition scoring late on and Widnes losing.

Then came Saints vs Hull FC.  Now, I am a Saints fan.  I had no hopes going in.  I mean it, if they’d only lost by 10 points, I would have been happy.  They had been that bad.  It was also the new manager’s first game.  Low expectations were the order of the day.

They won.

45 – 0.

No, I can’t explain it either.

(The ever wonderful Saints team lining up)

I have no idea how Justin Holbrook did it.  At the time, I wasn’t sure if he’d just told them that he didn’t mind them playing badly he just demanded that they play like professionals, or if it was Saints being their usual inconsistent selves and being awful one week (vs Castleford, I have legitimately never seen them play worse) and good the next.  Since then, it seems to be that it’s Holbrook being a damn fine coach because Saints won the derby this week.  (The Saints vs Wigan derby is often held up to be the origin of the phrase “derby match”.  It’s a big thing locally, and the first official one was 122 years ago.)

The last match on the Saturday was Wigan (them, the great sporting evil) vs Warrington (who are so perpetually the bridesmaids that even they make jokes about “this being their year”).

It was a 14-14 draw.  Warrington had the lead, but they blew it.  Because they are Warrington.

(Stefan Ratchford who is my favourite Warrington player)

I think Warrington’s problem is that their line is too high up the pitch when they attack so it just needs one good kick or one line break to completely destroy their defence.

The first match of Sunday was Catalan Dragons vs Huddersfield Giants.

It was always going to be the least well-attended match of the weekend because Catalan are, obviously, a foreign team so, understandably they have fewer travelling fans.  I still say that there were more Catalan fans than Hull fans though.

Half time and between the matches entertainment included mini rugby, touch rugby and various sets of dancers.

And the St. James’s house band.  I discovered that “Take Me Home, Country Road”, “Wonderwall”, “Seven Nation Army” and “Chelsea Dagger” are universal rugby league songs.

There was also a Mushy Pea mascot because one of the Super League’s sponsors is a brand of mushy peas.

The Huddersfield Giant mascot was very good and shook the hands of the mini rugby players as they left the pitch.

The next match was Leigh Centurions vs Salford Red Devils.  I’m not sure why the Leigh mascot is a pig, but here he is doing one armed push-ups.

I am impressed.

Last match of the weekend was Castleford Tigers, league leaders, vs Leeds Rhinos, their local rivals.

Rob Burrow, who is my favourite player, despite the fact that he plays for Leeds, was playing.  Now, for reasons, some of the teams were wearing superhero-branded kit.  Wakefield were wearing a Spiderman inspired kit, Hull an Incredible Hulk one, Warrington a Thor one (which makes sense because of all the Ashton Sims is Thor jokes), Catalan Dragons wore an Iron Man themed one and Leeds got Captain America.  This is a problem because Rob Burrow looks like Steve Rogers pre-serum, in comparison to the other players.

Tiny Rob Burrow’s vital stats are he is 5 foot 5 (165 cm) and 10 stone 6 (66 kg).  And he’s a pro rugby player.  His lack of size may have some bearing on my love for him.  That he is also awesome also does.  Despite the final where he came on at half time and stole the championship from my team by hustle and moxie.

Castleford won.  I think the Castleford fans won for loudest fans of the weekend.

~~~~
It was great fun.  I recommend going to Magic Weekend if you get the chance.

It’s an amazing experience getting to be around so many people who love rugby.  For example, there was a try-saving tackle by a Widnes Vikings player that got cheers from all the crowd (except the Wakefield fans, justifiably) because it was an excellent piece of play.
Seeing all the teams play, particularly from the vantage point I was at, meant you could get a much better feel of how they played than you can from the TV.  On TV, you often don't get to see off-the-ball play as much. I got to see some marvellous rugby, both attacking, such as Tommy Makinson’s try, and a lot of the tackling.

The atmosphere was great too.  I’m 5 foot 3 and a woman and I went on my own but I knew there wouldn’t be any trouble despite all the fans sitting together, not being separated by team affiliation.  There was a fair bit of banter, such as the Wigan Warriors fans walking round the pitch with a banner saying “We came, we conquered, we ate all the pies”*, which got the expected response (and the Widnes mascot giving them the thumbs down).  Or the Warrington banner saying “it’s always our year”.  Then there was the back and forth “stand up for St Helens,” “stand up for the champions” and “stand up if you hate Wigan” chants.  Or the Wigan and Saints fans joining together to taunt Warrington.  Or the Wigan and Saints fans having a throw football match.  The stewards were most disapproving, because they are used to football fans but the supervisor steward knew rugby fans are mostly harmless and threw the ball back.

On Sunday, there was an adorable child Leeds fan who ran round a group of Castleford fans when Leeds scored and just got chuckled at.

I love how much colour and sound there was.  Fans of every team took the idea of striking the colours seriously, repping their team.  This included fans of teams that weren’t at Magic Weekend, like the Crusaders fans in front of me or the Toronto Wolfpack fans to my left.

St. James’s facilities were excellent, except they could do with a better PA system because it was full of fuzzy reverb.

I had a fantastic time, would recommend going, and plan to go again as soon as I have the time and money again.

*the other team’s nickname for Wigan is the pie eaters.

Assassin's Creed

This began as a review of Assassin's Creed, and turned into a discussion of the nature of storytelling. If you want a review, that's easy:

Avoid. 

Run far, run fast, don't look back, don't try a Leap of Faith in the real world.

None of the following is a diss on the technical people involved. The film was beautifully made. The costumes were amazing, I loved the camera work. 

When you're as good as that cast list are, then the acting is not the problem. Particularly Michael Fassbender at the beginning, he was amazing.

The trouble was it was difficult to care about any of that when no-one is given all that much character.

I mean, Aguilar gets a bit, but the fact that I can only remember the assassin's name and not the modern-day dude should tell you something. The film was really bad at giving the characters names and identities. For instance, the only reason I know that Maria's name is Maria, not 'unspeakably hot Assassin chick' which I had to call her, was because I looked the film up on IMDB and had to work backwards from female actresses listed.

The same thing for the modern day Assassins. I would care a lot more about the fate of Assassin 3 and 4 if, you know, they were people rather than cardboard cutouts that some fine actors were doing their best with. 

I mean it. Name one non-Aguilar assassin just from watching the film. 

There's no sense of them being real people, they have less personality than the NPCs in the game do. 

What Mad Max: Fury Road did excellently well, this doesn't bother to do at all. I'm not given a reason to care about these characters, so I don't, which means the grand sacrifice scenes don't work. 

It's odd that a film that took so much care over everything else (the sets, the costumes, the little details like Aguilar's name and the Torquemada's nose) had such a bad, flat script.

My other problem is not the film's fault. Or rather, I have the same problem with the games but the film emphasises it. The whole, 'there are no rules' philosophy is well and good if you're strong and strapping. If you've the kind of person who isn't, it tends to end badly for you. Relying on people to look after each other in that sort of set up also ends badly. That the film just blithely accepts that the Assassins view of life without questioning it is ooky. 

Some spoilers below.

The film goes out of its way to avoid shades of grey. Whether it's making Cal Lynch a criminal who prays on other criminals (so it's okay to cheer him on), painting the Assassins as completely good and the Templars as completely evil, or just making Marion Cotillard evil all of a sudden (I cannot overstate how bad the film was at giving the names of the characters). That was also a shocking waste of Marion Cotillard. She’s an amazing actress, so use her.

Assassin's Creed annoyed me, because it came so close to being good. It had one glaring flaw, but the script was so bad and a script makes up such a large part of the film that I felt really let down.

Why UK NFL fans should be cheering for Toronto Wolfpack

Dear UK NFL fans (who don’t already have a rugby league team to support),

Support Toronto Wolfpack.

Why? Because Toronto are trying to do what any NFL franchise based in the UK would have to do.

Now admittedly there are differences between the two: size of squad, overheads and relegation into and out of various leagues for a start...but you can bet your bottom dollar the NFL are keeping an eye on what happens to the Wolfpack, and they will include it in their calculations about whether a UK-based franchise would succeed.

The hurdles Toronto are having to overcome would also be a problem for a UK franchise:  

• The distance (although, as several commentators have pointed out, the flight time between several US NFL teams is just as long as the US/UK flight time)

• Getting homegrown players into the team:  Toronto have done something sensible and clever, they've run trials in Canadian and US cities to find people who haven't quite made the grade in the NFL or CFL (Canadian Football League) but who could transfer their skills to rugby league.  The homegrown player thing is obviously less of a thing in the NFL because of the whole draft thing (and the franchise thing), but I think it would help embed the putative UK team better in the UK.

• Transport, although that’s not a problem for an NFL team as the NFL pay transport costs.  But because the RFL don’t, Toronto have done another clever thing.  They have signed a sponsorship deal with an airline, Air Transat.  The airline are covering the cost of Toronto’s flights and, and here’s the clever bit, the flight costs of the UK teams that are playing Toronto.  Toronto are also being nice and covering some of the travel costs for the UK fans coming over.  Presumably to keep costs low, the matches are being played in sets of 5, so Toronto have 5 games over here, and then five home games back in Toronto.  The putative NFL team won’t need to do that.

• Competition from other sports teams.  Toronto is a good proxy for London (and the UK in general) because it already has a lot of sports teams.  The Maple Leafs, the Blue Jays, the Raptors, the Argonauts and Toronto FC are just some of the teams that the Wolfpack will need to compete against to gain fans and an audience share.

If Toronto show that a transatlantic franchise could succeed, they might well be a stepping stone to getting the London Jaguars.  So get cheering for them, UK NFL fans.

About the Ambassadorial Contract Nonsense

This is a late response to the RFL's ambassadorial contracts.  The new salary cap and marquee player rules might have put an end to this nonsense.  However, the RFL still win some sort of prize for really bad ideas with the ambassadorial contracts.

It's not just the not informing all the teams.  Although that is the level of communication I expect from the RFL.  It's that it's a bad idea no matter which way you look at it.

First of all, I look at it as a fan.  Okay, there is an advantage to my team.  It should mean that my team can keep hold of players that would otherwise go to the NRL (or another Super League team).  But that relies on my team being one of the ones whose players are chosen to play for England.  I'm lucky, the occasional Saints player does get picked.  Other teams aren't so lucky, see any number of Wakefield and Castleford players who have deserved a call-up and didn't get one because they played for unfashionable clubs.  Or there are players who are the victim of an oversight by a particular coach e.g. Steve McNamara's refusal to pick Danny Brough.

There's no way that this idea is fair on Catalan Dragons.  They are, understandably, unlikely to produce any English players through their academy.

It gives an advantage to the teams that are already big.  It also puts any team coming up from the Championship at an even bigger disadvantage than they would have been.

Also as a fan, and using a personal example, I'd rather James Graham have moved to the NRL than to another English team.  One of those is annoying, the other one would have broken my heart.

I think that would also be true if I was an owner or manager.  I'd rather a player leave for Australia rather than play for one of our competitors.

As an England fan, I want the players playing in the best league possible so that we might, eventually, beat the Aussies.  That means the NRL.  One year of results in the World Club Championships does not change that.  I understand that the reason why they brought this in (or tried to) was to reduce the gap.  The RFL think that the NRL are stealing all of the Super League's best players.  They also think that stopping that will make the gap between England and Australia smaller.

This seems to ignore that the players that go over and succeed are mostly props, not creative players.  Now, I love me my props, see also James Graham, but GB/England have always been able to equal Australia in the forwards.  It's in the backs where Australia are so much better.  Stopping the backs from getting experience against Australian teams is not going to solve that problem.

What might solve the problem is stopping the English teams bringing in over-the-hill Australians to play in the backs.  Instead English teams should be encouraged to promote players from their own youth systems.

No Super League team is going to agree to that though, because why should they cut their own throats for the national team.  I think there will need to be a carrot and stick approach.  Somehow said carrot (or stick) also needs to be applicable to the Catalan Dragons.  That is where it gets difficult.  There's no reason for the RFL to help the Dragons, but just as much, there's no reason for the Super League teams to help the RFL without some sort of reward.

How d'you solve a problem like Italian rugby?

Which sadly doesn't quite scan to "how do you solve a problem like Maria?"

For the non-rugby union peeps reading, the 6 Nations is the Northern hemisphere annual international competition.  Before 2000, it was the 5 Nations.  In 2000, Italy were invited to join England, France, Ireland, Scotland and Wales to make it six.

Before Italy joined, it was a toss-up whether it would be them, Georgia or Romania who would be invited to join (it was one of those rare, three-sided coins).  The International Rugby Board (or whatever they're called this year) may have claimed to have a legitimate reason to choose Italy over the other two, but there was always a distinct hint that it was because the bigwigs would rather spend time in Rome than in Tbilisi or Bucharest.

This wouldn't be a problem if Italy had done better.  Only they haven't, they've finished dead last 12 tournaments out of 18.  Because of this, there are once again the regular calls to get rid of Italy and replace them with Georgia, or Romania.

I don't think that will solve the intrinsic problem.  This is not because I don't think Gorgodzilla and friends won't be awesome and try hard and compete.

None of those have been Italy's problem either.

I'm a fan of Italian rugby; my heart was won by the Bergamasco boys, so I am biased.  Their problem has never been lack of effort.

Their main problem has been having fewer resources than the other five teams.  I don't just mean money, I mean things like strength in depth of players.  There was the famous case when England's reserve players had more caps than the entire Italian team plus reserves.  There's always been a couple of positions where they're significantly weaker than the other sides.  Which particular position changes, the fact of it doesn't.

Changing which team is the 6th team in the 6 Nations would not solve this problem.  Georgia would have it, Romania would have it, just as much Italy have it now.  Kicking Italy out and bolting the door would be a waste of the time, money and effort that have gone into Italian rugby in the past 20 plus years.

That doesn't mean I want to keep the status quo.  Locking out the teams in the European Nations Cup is a really bad idea.

Everyone agrees that there is no way that rugby players on the various national teams can play more games.  They're already the walking injured most of the time.

I've been informed that there's no way that the Six Nations can be made less frequent.  It was a suggestion I made only to hear the squeak of protest from certain people.

The most sensible thing would be to have a relegation play off between the team last in the 6 Nations and the team coming top of the European Nations Cup (ENC).  Then host the game at the ENC team's home stadium.  This plan has several advantages.  It gives the teams in the ENC something to play for.  It gives a bit of extra money to help the top ENC team to bridge the gap if not that year then the next if they lose.  It also  gives whichever team finishes 6th (which isn't always Italy) a chance to save themselves.  A win all round I think. 

Better The Devil You Know (Or Missing Bernie Ecclestone)

I can understand why people are glad Bernie Ecclestone has gone. He was a kleptocrat, who didn't get media invented after 1980, and who seemed to be more interested in enriching himself than decent racing.

However, I do worry that Formula 1 fans might miss him more than we expect to.

When Bernie Ecclestone was in charge, you knew who was in charge and who was to blame for things. Who is in charge with Liberty Media? With whom does the buck stop? And I think with a sport, you do need *a* person in charge. Otherwise, instead of moving forward, you have lots of good ideas which never get implemented.

Liberty Media is run by a group of shareholders, who all have to be placated. With Bernie, you knew what he wanted, which was money, and more of it, but the process at least was easy.

The other thing, which could be me doing Liberty a disservice, is that Ecclestone was pretty hot on driver safety. Not openly. If he spoke about driver safety Ecclestone gave press quotes to annoy. But that was his thing, and if you believed anything Bernie Ecclestone said to the media, more fool you. On the other hand, US sports, particularly motorsports, have a reputation for not being careful about safety. Both the halo and the aeroscreen have their issues, but something needs to be done. I worry that Liberty won't give that sort of change the help it needs to be pushed through.

As I said, I could be being unnecessarily pessimistic. Liberty are doing everything right so far, especially putting Ross Brawn in charge of improving the racing, but I do worry that we'll miss Bernie.

Logan, which I'm banned from seeing

There's are many reasons why your friends would suggest you not watch a film.

They might not think it's worth watching, because friends don't let friends watch the Seth Rogen Green Hornet.

They might know it's not the sort of thing you'd like, like the time I suggested my friend, who doesn't like gore, violence and swearing, not watch Sin City.  She made it half an hour in before she said, "I think you were right."  I want it known that I didn't say 'I told you so'.

I'm not banned from Logan for either of those reasons.

No.  L, who has issued the ban, is worried that I'm going to cry so hard that I'll desiccate.

In L's defence, he was sat next to me when I got a little over-involved with the fate of a tree in Guardians of the Galaxy (and bought me a bonsai which is called Groot).  Furthermore, my family do have form on the 'crying so hard it disturbs other people' front.  The Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet was in the cinema the year my girl-cousin studied it and my Uncle took her to see it.  He cried so hard someone else's mother gave him tissues.

It's pretty much a given that I will cry like a baby at Logan.

It's a mixture of things.  Partly because I am a sucker for superheroes, and Logan plus girl-child is my platonic ideal of a Wolverine story.  The first X-Men film is probably still my favourite because they understood that, and there's that wonderful terrible moment where Logan thinks that Rogue is dead and he's doing everything he can, even if it kills him, to bring her back.  That's the nearest I've come to crying at an X-Men film.

The people behind Logan seem to get him, and get which story they're telling.  Right down to the advertising people.  I don't watch superhero trailers before they reach the cinema because I don't like to spoil myself but L does.  And he banned me from seeing Logan the minute he saw the first one.  His exact words were "they're using Hurt as the background music."  Which was when I knew I was doomed (3rd gen Johnny Cash fan here).

But beyond that, it's that it's Hugh Jackman's last film as Logan.  It's that "end of an era" feeling.  Hugh Jackman has been Logan for longer than anyone has been Doctor Who, longer than anyone has been James Bond.

I was 15 when X-Men came out, before my home town got a cinema again.  So going seeing a film was a bit of a production, and a rare treat.  I can remember who I went with.  We're not the same people anymore, there's no way we could be, but Wolverine's always been there.  X-Men 2 was supposed to be the first film I saw on my own in the cinema, but the person at the counter misheard me and gave me a ticket to the Matrix Reloaded instead (yeah, I know!).  Wolverine: Origins was the first film I saw at the new Showcase in Leicester.  First Class, which featured the greatest use of the one serious expletive you're allowed in a 12, was one of the first films I saw in Birmingham, and I saw X-Men Apocalypse in Newcastle.

I've moved house 6 times, but Wolverine's always been there.  I've gone to uni, graduated twice, had three jobs, but Wolverine's always been there.  And now he won't be.

If they do this properly, which from having finally seen the trailer, they are doing, I'm going to cry buckets.  In between me being an X-Men fan for 25 years and some damned good acting on the parts of Sir Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman (who is a criminally underrated actor), it's going to break me worse than Boromir and Thorin did.

So there's a reason L has not just forbidden but five-biden and pi-bidden me from watching it.  It's for my own good.

I'm still going to watch it though because ... oh it looks like it will be so good and I want to keep Wolverine while I can.

Yearly Book Location Update

It's only a month late ;)

As you can see, the variety hasn't improved much. In my defence, I've been reading a fair bit of non-fiction which isn't set anywhere in particular, and the books I have read that are set somewhere particular are either fantasy worlds or written by Plutarch with notes like 'citadel x is probably modern day y'.

6 Months With A Smartphone

My friend L spent several years trying to convince me to get a smartphone and viewed my refusal to upgrade from my brick to be a sign of worrying technophobia in a scientist.

My reasons for not wanting a smartphone were entirely practical. I am clumsy and break things so I can't afford to have fragile expensive things around my person. I also spend a lot of time travelling, especially for fencing, so I don't always have access to sockets. I can't have something that needs frequent charging.

On top of that, I'm also a raving technophobe.

Anyway, due to a new job I needed a phone that would at least let me respond to emails while I was out and about. It came down to a choice between a Samsung S7 and a Sony Xperia Z5 Compact. The Z5 was £200 cheaper, and the only thing that matches my clumsiness is my skinflintedness, so I went with that.

I still think it was the right choice because my phone is so dinky and lovely.

Size does matter on this occasion because I have small hands (at full extension I can't even manage a full octave on a piano. Most frustrating!). That was one of the things putting me off getting a smart phone. I had visions of my desperately trying to keep hold of a giant phone and dropping it, or getting severe finger cramp.

I was also worried about a smartphone being so bulky that it wouldn't fit in my pockets. That was one of the advantages of my old phone, I could shove it in my back pocket and forget about it. Now, the new phone is a bit bigger and heavier than that, but it still fits in fine, even in the ridiculous dandelion print hipsters I wear too frequently.

General Comments on Smart Phones:

I can see why people love them. They're very useful. No more, 'oh heck, I have forgotten to write down my train booking number' or needing to print off maps to know where I'm going.

On the communication front I probably could have survived with just text and talk, but I shan't pretend the ability to send links on the go isn't useful (and a good way of keeping me entertained on my commute).

At the same time, smart phones don't half make the simple things a lot more complicated than before. The difficulty I had in finding things like the calculator was ridiculous, and I still can't figure out how to turn the vibrate setting on.

Getting a phone case is a definite yes. I've got a cheap fake leather one, but it's definitely improved the experience. Mostly because the screen gets a lot less smeared. If anyone has any knitting patterns for phone covers they'd recommend, I'd love to see them because all the ones I can find are a bit too cutesy for my tastes.

Specific Comments on the Sony Xperia Z5 Compact:

Charging and battery life were things I worried about most. I used to say I refused to get a smartphone until they could last 2 days without a charge. This phone can and it's not like I'm careful about battery usage. 

I have noticed that different websites eat different amounts of battery, in particular Cracked.com is an energy eater. My other big worry was going over my data limit, but it turns out there's a button for that.

It's also really solid, and survives me dropping it very well, actually better than the last brick did.

In short, I'm very glad I did finally get a smartphone and I definitely recommend the Sony Xperia Z5 Compact.

The only downside is that L is going to be impossible after this...but that's not really a concern that others need to factor in.

My Top Ten Films of 2016 Explained

The promised explanation for my top 10 films of 2016, mostly because I got the expected squawking noises from the expected source.

First, these are also the only films I saw in the cinema in 2016.  It's a mixture of things, mostly that I no longer have my Cineworld card because the nearest Cineworld to me is now an hour and a half away.  Nothing against the cinema I do have near me, but it does mean going to the cinema has suddenly got more expensive.  My new job is also taking up a lot more of my time than my previous one, which hasn't helped.

The full logic behind my system can be found here, but the short version is did the film do what it was supposed to do?  Was it technically competent?  Did it make me want to go 'but that makes no sense?,' and did it affect me?

1 - Kubo And The Two Strings

I return to my original review of Kubo - "You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fall in love with a child, a monkey, a beetle and an origami figure." (which someone said summed it up perfectly, which is one of the nicest complements I've ever been paid).  It's amazing, a like a good figure skating programme, the sheer artistry of it means you don't notice exactly how amazing the puppet work is, because you forget it's stop motion animation and get completely caught up in the story.

It's truly, truly amazing.

2 - The Jungle Book

I am the only person who could have done without the songs.  They pulled me out of the film something chronic.  Other than that, it was all good.  It's lovingly made, the effects are incredible and it's the only 2016 film that made me cry courtesy of Lupita Nyong'o's Raksha. (Kubo made me make all kinds of peculiar noises instead).

3 - Captain America: Civil War

Definitely the best of the comic book films this year.  It was all interesting shades of grey, and right, wrong and ish, in the way good comics are.  Also Black Panther and Zemo and *that* scene in the snow.

4 - Suicide Squad

Mostly for the visuals and the sense of fun which the rest of the DC-verse seems to lack.  And the soundtrack.  And Deadshot and Harley Quinn.  Oh I loved Harley Quinn and Deadshot so much.  And Amanda Waller - well love might not be the right word, suitably impressed might be better.

I'm happy with my top four and the order that they're in.  It's after the top four that I start prevaricating.

5 - Batman vs Superman

I loved the Bat parts of the film, except how the film kept trying to tell me that he was doing the wrong thing when I think he was doing the only sensible thing, and that's not just Bat-bias.

I can see what they were trying to do with Lex Luthor even if it didn't work.  The film's quality jumps amazingly every time it's Holly Hunter vs Lex Luthor.

They still don't get Superman, which is a problem when he's the co-headliner.  And because of that it feels like the film lacks heart.

6 - Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I preferred this film when it was called "A New Hope".  And there's yet another JJ Abrams character with Daddy Issues.  And dear lord, do Kylo Ren's many flaws ever make it seem like Luke is the worst Jedi master ever.

That being said, I do love Finn and Rey, and exactly how little time the First Order rank and file have for Kylo Ren's temper tantrums.

7 - Star Trek Beyond

I enjoyed this a lot.  Especially Jaylah.  And Justin Lin can direct all the things because he really conveyed exactly how 3D space and space stations are.

But ...

I kept forgetting I had seen this when I was counting the films I'd seen this year.  That's not a good sign.

8 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

This was good clean mindless fun.  And when I went to see it that was exactly what I wanted to see.  It does exactly what it says on the tin.  And Bebop and Rocksteady are perfect.  Actually perfect.

9 - Doctor Strange

The cape apart, this felt flat, like it was too concerned with setting up the next Avengers film and its own sequel to be a good film itself.  Loved the Night Nurse (and Wong) but the rest of it was flat.

10 - X-Men: Apocalypse

I may have enjoyed it in parts but I have to acknowledge it was terrible.

It felt like half the film was missing.  Our heroes successes came too easily and it tied everything up far too neatly.  Apocalypse felt like an afterthought in his own film and too much of the film felt like generic superhero film, which X-Men should never feel like.

It's a shame, because parts of it were wonderful, mostly the sore, ouchy character bits like Quicksilver's complete inability to spit it out re: his Dad, and Mystique comforting the newbies when they were flying to the finale when you realise that she and Hank are the only ones from their generation left alive.

It should have been so much better.